Bliss and Blue Skies

Movies to Watch

2006-12-21T23:03:00.000+08:00

Spent my evening previewing trailers over youtube. There are seven movies that will be shown from now until February that I'm excited to see.

Here they are:

1. The Pursuit of Happyness
Starring: Will Smith Based on a true story about a struggling salesman who can barely make ends meet and eventually gets evicted from his apartment. Together with his son (played by Will's real life son Jaden), he sleeps on subways and shelters by night but interns at a stock brokerage firm by day in pursuit of a better life for him and his son.

2. The Holiday
Starring: Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Jack Black
Two women who live thousands of miles apart find that they have something in common: man troubles. They meet through a site called "Home Exchange" and agree to switch places and go on a holiday, Amanda (Cameron) flying to England while Iris (Kate) jetting to LA -- hoping to forget their heartaches and accidentally finding love along the way.

3. Miss Potter
Starring: Renee Zellwegger, Ewan McGregor
This is the story of Beatrix Potter, the author of the beloved and best-selling children's book, "The Tale of Peter Rabbit", and her struggle for love, happiness and success.

4. Thr3e
Starring: Marc Blucas
The best-selling novel by Christian fiction writer Ted Dekker is now a movie! Yay!
It's the story of an elusive psychopath murderer whose strange riddles and impossible timelines force three people into a mission to end the game before one or all of them die.

5. Catch and Release
Starring: Jennifer Garner, Juliette Lewis
A woman named Gray struggles to accept the death of her

beloved husband but soon finds out that he had been keeping

secrets she must now deal with as she rebuilds her life.

6. The Invisible
Starring: Justin Chatwin
Nick, is a high school senior with a

bright future until, in a tragic case

of mistaken identity, he is brutally

attacked by a troubled girl, Annie,

and his body is left for dead. Now in

limbo, not quite dead but invisible

to the living, his spirit can only watch

as his mother and the police search

frantically for him, unaware that he is

only hours away from truly perishing.

7. Music and Lyrics

Starring: Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant

The one that I'm looking forward to most! Hugh Grant plays

an 80's has-been who joins a reality show of musician has-beens and gets tasked to write a new song for this ala Christian Aguilera pop star. Drew plays the Hugh's plant waterer whom he discovers has a knack for creating beautiful lyrics to go with his music. Another romantic comedy must-see!

Fast Talk

2006-12-20T22:34:00.000+08:00

It's just about that time of the year again -- a time I truly look forward to. I'm not talking about Christmas (although I do love Christmas!) or New Year's (although I love New Year's, too). I'm talking about the annual 7-day Prayer and Fasting that we as a church do every start of the year.

If we backtrack to three years ago, the word 'fast' would have only meant 'quick' to me. I've never been the type to deprive myself of food. Even when trying to lose weight, I've always resorted to physical activity but never to dieting. So when I first heard about fasting as a new Christian, I was skeptical. What on earth would not eating my meals do other than possibly giving me an ulcer?

So even if I didn't really understand what it was about, I decided to go for it. I wanted to see for myself what all the flack was about. I wanted more of God and if this was the way to have more of Him in my life and hear from Him, then I had nothing to lose.

On the second day of Fasting, I realized I hadn't just 'lost nothing,' I gained what (or Who) was priceless.

I remember singing a worship song at Galleria at lunchtime that second day and the Lord clearly told me that it was time to move on, to give up my job -- a job I enjoyed and loved. I was very fond of earrings at that time and I don't know why it was my first reaction but my automatic response was "But, Lord, if I quit my job, how will I buy all my earrings?" That exact moment, my knees buckled (that time I thought it was because I was hungry) and I lost my balance and found myself sitting on my bible. I felt led to look at the page my bible was on and when I did, the words of Isaiah 3:18-20 literally jumped right out of the pages. It said "In that day the Lord will snatch away their finery: the bangles and headbands and crescent necklaces, the earrings and bracelets and veils, the headdresses and ankle chains and sashes, the perfume bottles and charm.."

That was the first time I knew for sure that I had clearly heard from God.

For the first time in the two years I'd worked there, that second day of fasting, my fellow associate F found me in tears at my desk. I wanted out.

It didn't happen just yet that year and even now I feel I had delayed obeying as long as I could (not something I am proud of) but what I did realize then was that God wanted me somewhere else. At that time, I just didn't know where that somewhere was.

***

Prayer and Fasting is always a powerful time for me. I have experienced countless breakthroughs and encounters with God during and after fasting. So I'm excited. If you want to read more about fasting, check out this great book by Pastor Joey Bonifacio called The Mystery of the Empty Stomach (available at any Victory Resource Center). It explains what fasting is and what it's not and answers a lot of the questions that I usually get about fasting.

Not bad for 27

2006-11-10T00:28:00.000+08:00

Only 18 minutes to go before midnight, before my birthday officially starts. I'm excited to turn 28. For some reason, I never really felt 27. It took me until February of this year to come to terms with being 27. I kept on saying I was still 26 and I started saying I was 28 as early as September. I don't know why but I didn't like being 27. Maybe I like even numbers better. I can't really say.

But whatever number is associated with this past year, I have so much to be thankful for. This year, I stepped out in faith and quit a job I've had for three years. This year, I experienced losing a loved one for the very first time. This year, after a year of living away from my mom's house, I took a step of faith and went back home. It wasn't pretty. The beginning of this year brought testing after testing and there were times I really thought it would never end. But it did and brought my relationship with God to a higher level. It made me stronger and made me realize so many things about myself. It brought me unexpectedly to the job I've been believing God for for the past two years. It brought me closer to my dad (whom I haven't seen since I was 11), to my mom, to my grandparents... It brought new people into my life, people I am excited to get to know.

Not bad for a number like 27... Not bad at all...

So I'm excited to be 28. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me this year. I'm excited about the deal I have with God, which officially starts today although I have been practicing this past week. I'm excited to just spend more time with Him, to know Him more, to love Him more. What can I say? Life just keeps on getting better.

Hello again, bloggers!

2006-04-27T19:02:00.000+08:00

Hi, everyone!

I was MIA for quite some time because the PC in my room is still busted. So I'm just blogging using someone else's computer. Nothing much going on. I would have to say things have not turned out as I expected. It's been quite tough for me and I've been asking God a lot why he brought me back home when things were already good before everything changed. But deep in my heart I know that God is trying to teach me something. Little by little, I am finding out what it is. And the more it is revealed to me, the more peaceful I feel about everything. I want something else, to be somewhere else but until God gives the go-signal, then I need to stay here.

Goodbye, Summit...

2006-03-10T00:56:00.000+08:00

I can't believe tomorrow is my real last day at Summit. My official last day is supposed to be on the 15th but since I need to move out of AIC to go back to Sta. Rosa on Monday, I will be taking my last three days off. It's surreal, really. I'm sad that I'm leaving and scared, because I have a new life. For the first time in three years, I'm not getting up in the morning knowing exactly what I need to do for the day. This is the life I've known and have come to love. That is why despite my complaints in the past, I never really wanted to leave Summit. This is actually a really good company. Everyone is so different that there is no room for envy or fierce competition. There's no one trying to sabotage another's work. Each person takes pride in what she (or he) does and each one respects the other (most of the time) because each one knows that every person has his own talent and plays a vital role to accomplishing our goal -- which is to give each person a magazine he/she will enjoy and learn from.

I have met the most interesting people on the job. I never thought I would meet (and actually talk to and be in the same car with) Myrza Sison. I have been a Cosmo reader since the Philippine edition first came out (although now I enjoy Marie Claire and Preview more--reason being I'm getting old!). I would be checking if the latest issue was already out a week before the magazine was set to come out. I have always admired her--the ultimate fun fearless female. And now, I actually run into her in the rest room and she says hi to me! Simple joys, I know, but even to this day, I still get starstruck by the big names in the magazine industry: Myrza, Pauline Suaco-Juan, Jo-Ann Maglipon. I still can't get over how perfectly polished the Preview girls are everyday. No fail, they always wear the perfect clothes and you see them most days having their makeup done by Agoo (oh the beautiful Agoo) at her desk. It's Sushi for Beginners come alive. I still can't get over how our big boss Lisa is not Ms. Lisa or Ma'am Lisa--she's just plain Lisa. She's so simple, she has a laugh with the staff (not me specifically but I like watching her kid around with the FHM people or Ms Jo-Ann, whom she calls lola) and she's just so passionate about the magazines. When I joined Summit, we had about 10 titles, now we have 22 plus Summit Books. I just admire that she's accomplished so much and yet remains so down to earth. I just wish I had an opportunity to be able to get to know her or have her get to know me. I remember one time I was at Bo's, doing one-to-one with a girl and she was buying coffee. I saw her waving wildly saying "hello!!" with a bright smile. I had to look behind me because honestly I never thought she even knew I existed but she did and that just made my day.

I can't believe I'm leaving. But I know I have to move on. If it's God's will for me to come back, I know He'll make a way. Maybe in editorial the next time around? Hmmm, gotta polish up on my writing skills...

One of those surveys again

2006-03-06T17:51:00.000+08:00

1. Do you like Chinese food~ Yes, I do. But my favorite is still Japanese
2. How big is your bed?~ a single
3. Is your room clean?~ yes, it is. :)
4. Laptop or Desktop computer?~ Desktop
5. Favorite fashion icon?~ Gwyneth Paltrow, Carolina Herrera and a bit of Sarah Jessica Parker
6. Do you like yourself?~ Yes, I do, but I'm still a work in progress
7. Does anyone like you?~ Yes, I believe so, I have many friends
8.. Sleep with or without clothes on?~ with clothes, of course!
9. Who sleeps with you every night?~ Nobody, just me.
10. Do long distance relationships work?~ I think it would depend
11. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?~ By the MMDA, about 3 times before
12. Pancakes or French Toast?~ Pancakes with a lot of maple syrup
13. Do you like coffee?~ Yes, I do although it's not something I need to have everyday
14. How do you like your eggs?~ depends on the ulam (hehe...)
15. Do you believe in astrology?~ No.
16. Last person you talked to on the phone?~ my cousin Denise
17. Last person on your missed call list?~ Kris
18. What was the last text message you received?~ A forwarded message from Fida
19. McDonalds or Burger King?~ McDonald's
20. Number of pillows?~ three
21. Last thing you ate?~ Ruffles Cheddar and Sour cream
22. Last thing you bought?~ KFC chicken for dinner
23. What are you wearing right now?~ a black shirt, jeans and chucks
24. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song?~ "People get ready, there's a train coming, Don't need no baggage you just get on board; all you need is faith to hear the diesel hummin', you don't need a ticket, you just thank the Lord" -- wonderful song revived by Alicia Keys and Lyfe Jennings for the movie Glory Road
25. What kind of spread do you like on your sandwich?~ cheez whiz
26. Can you play pool?~ only with someone directing me
27. Do you know how to swim?~ yes, I do.
8. Favorite ice cream flavor?~ vanilla, double dutch, dulce de leche, cookies and cream, strawberry cheesecake
29. Spin the bottle?~ when I was younger pero yung Truth or Consequence lang
30. Ever attended a theme party?~ Yes, but I'm not really good at theme parties
31. Ever do a keg stand?~ No, what's that?
32. Craziest place you've slept after a night of drinking?~ Don't drink anymore.
33. What is your favorite holiday?~ Christmas
34. What is the first music video you ever saw? ~ I can't remember pero parang Video Killed the Radio Star
35. Favorite quote ~ "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail; they are new every morning." Lamentations 3:22-23
36. Where is your favorite saturday hangout?~ My house
37. Best friend/s' name?~ Kris
38. How long have you known them?~ Almost 7 years
39. Last time you laughed at something stupid?~ Hmm... I can't really remember
40. What time did you wake up this morning?~ 8:00am
41. Woke up next to anyone?~ No.
42. Best thing about Summer?~ Summer convergence, campus harvest and the beach!
3. Name a couple of favorite colors:~ white and green
44. How old are you?~ 27
45. What month is your birthday in?~ November
46. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated? ~ I don't think about pirates at all
47. Favorite song?~ Better than life - Marty Sampson and Knees to the earth - Watermark
48. What are you doing this week?~ Turning over stuff, preparing to move back home

Musings on Memoirs

2006-02-21T23:41:00.000+08:00

Just came from the premiere of Memoirs of a Geisha at Greenbelt 3.

I found the movie visually stunning and it made me more intrigued to know more about Japanese culture. They say this movie is heavily westernized but I still liked it, quite a surprise because I'm not really a big fan of Asian culture (except ours of course). Funny, I read in a lot of reviews that the movie should have been done in Japanese because first because it's set in Japan and so that the actors could act better speaking in their native tongue. Another reviewer pointed out that although the film is set in Japan, the book is written in English so why would anyone want to translate it to Japanese and then include English subtitles? Plus, the main actors are not even Japanese so it wouldn't really be their native tongue.

On my way back to the office, I remember what Sayuri (Zhang Ziyi) said towards the end. She told the Chairman that every step she'd taken since she was a child was to get closer to him. I could relate. But what was striking was that I was able to relate, thinking about my former Object of Affection. Although I was quite guarded when it came to him (just because I'm the type of girl who is uncomfortable around a guy I like), I made many decisions and many moves to get closer to him but as my friends know, nothing came out of that. Then I began to think:

"Can't you see? Every step I have taken, since I was that child on the bridge, has been to bring myself closer to you."

The only one who truly deserves this line is Jesus Christ. I began to think of the many times I had wasted thinking about how to get closer to a person but exerting only a portion of my effort to get closer to Him. Despite my bible reading every night, despite my prayers, or the services and prayer meetings I attend, I know I can devote more of myself to Him, to bringing myself closer to Him. As I embark on a new challenge this March, that will be my primary goal.

Surprise, surprise

2006-02-13T23:39:00.000+08:00

Everything is happening really fast. For those who haven't heard yet, I'm handing in my resignation letter tomorrow. Yes, after three years with Summit, I have decided to move on. Some people I've told are surprised because I'm probably one of the people least likely to resign. The fact is, I'm happy here. My job is not your usual 9-5, I work with extremely talented and creative people, I meet a mix of interesting people--members of the press, celebrities, models, DJs, writers, etc..., and most importantly, my time is flexible and I am able to do the things I really want to do, which is discipling young women and serving God and my church.

Last Prayer and Fasting, I had two job opportunities. But God said loudly and clearly to stay here but I disobeyed a little because, for the first time in years, I actually went to a job interview. It turned out to be a disaster (sabi na kasi ni God to stay, ang kulit ko pa). Last year naman, He told me to leave my job and I didn't. But my days of disobedience are over.

Yesterday, my mom offered me a job managing our family business. Kasi she accepeted na a job at one of the leading mobile phone companies and there are changes happening at home (good changes, changes I've been praying for for years) and mom needs me to be there at home to help her with the business and be with my little siblings--Gabbi and Amico. At first, I was hesitant. I was willing to move back home temporarily but I was not sure about leaving my job. But I told my mom that I would pray about it.

Here is what God said: Deuteronomy 10:11 "'Go,' the Lord said to me, 'and lead the people on their way, so that they (my family) may enter and possess the land that I swore to their fathers to give them." Deuteronomy 11:10-12 "The land you are entering to take over is not like the land of Egypt, from which you have come, where you planted your seed and irrigated it by foot as in a vegetable garden. But the land you are crossing the Jordan to take possession of is a land of mountains and valleys that drinks rain from heaven. It is the land your God cares for; the eyes of the Lord your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to the end."

The answer is actually four chapters long and it's a resounding YES from God. Last night (or rather this morning because I slept at 4am), I had moments of fear. I have been so used to being here. God has blessed me here at Summit. My salary's been increased 5 times since I became a Christian and I've been promoted twice. That wouldn't have happened if not for God's favor. I'm not being modest when I say this. It is the truth. People who know me can attest to this. Anyway, I had moments of fear and even today, there are times when I got scared. But I just want to obey the Lord this time. I know that if he wants me back here, He will make a way -- just as he has made a way for every single prayer I've prayed, every desire of my heart. I just feel so overwhelmingly blessed. Words cannot express how happy I am.

Now, I can be with my siblings and take care of them and teach them to be godly children. Now, I can devote more time to God. Now, I can focus on what's really important to me --
1. God
2. My Family
3. My Ministry
4. My Job (managing the family business)

I can save money because I don't need to pay rent or buy my food everyday. I can manage our household since as you can see in my former blog entry, I have taken an interest in being a domestic princess.
Everything is just falling into place and I am happy. Although it seems like everything is going so fast, I just feel a calm because I know this is where God wants me to be.

Me as a Domestic Goddess

2006-02-07T16:59:00.000+08:00

It's finally happening. The funny thing is that when it's not forced upon me by anyone, it comes out naturally--the domestic goddess in me.

There have been traces of it that comes out every so often when I get the sudden urge to clean my room. Like I've said in the past I'm an OC-wannabe. I want to be like the people who make lists everyday and put a neat little check on every item after it's been accomplished, I want to not be able to sleep when something is out of place, I want to experience bliss with everything around me clean. Now, I feel it's really happening. One day last week, I went home at 1am (came from work), I went into my bathroom and I just saw some soap marks on my bathroom walls and at 2am (because I spent an hour doing my prayer list [oh I do love lists!]), I started scrubbing--the walls, the floor, under the sink, the toilet bowl--until everything was as clean as I wanted them to be. This is a big thing because I've never done it my whole life. Oh, what satisfaction that gave me!

So today, I bought myself a mop, a window cleaner, dishwashing liquid, insect killer and I realize that yes, I am turning into a domestic princess (a few notches below being a domestic goddess). I'm not ~~yet~~ a Bree Van De Kamp, but I sure would like to have some of her OC qualities.

I'm excited to go home to my tiny bedroom, with my mop and bags of grocery in tow, and start scrubbing, mopping and wiping like crazy.

Wedding Photos

2006-01-27T13:17:00.000+08:00

First-time Bridesmaid

Too bad it rained...

The Bridesmaids and the Bride (in the middle)

2006-01-18T11:14:00.000+08:00

Sev is getting married next week.

And for the first time in my life, I agreed to be a bridesmaid. I usually don't like going to weddings -- not because I don't like weddings because I absolutely love them but I guess no one super close to me has gotten married before. Except Judy, and I do feel bad I wasn't able to go to her wedding but my cousins from Switzerland were leaving that same day and my lola was going to be left alone in the house and since my grandfather just died last December, we wanted to be around her as much as possible.

Anyway, finally, I'm going to be a bridesmaid. I'm a bit nervous about it. I'm wearing a mustard-colored dress (which cost a whopping P3,500!) and Kris, my best friend and co-bridesmaid, and I went to our final fitting yesterday at Katipunan. Kris and I liked the dress after a while because initially we were expecting a different color. The samples shown to us by Sev were predominantly brown (a color which we happen to like), then it turns out it was a gold number instead. But when we tried them on, they turned out to look good naman. Still not good enough for the price, but well, it's not like we can back out. The thing is Sev had brown stuff added to the dress because that's really part of her motiff. She talked about a shawl for me (to hide my "baby" fat, haha!) and a bolero for Kris. Nabaliktad nila! Mine wasn't made yet but it was a bolero for me and for Kris it was a weird shawl. Alam mo yung mga nakakabit sa dress na tela na iniikot sa neck, parang scarf. The funny thing is that I was in a really foul mood yesterday but when I saw the scowl on Kris's face, grabe, naging good mood ako! The mustard and the brown totally clashed and she had already bought her million dollar shoes too! To top it all off, we were super hungry and were made to wait for half an hour before they unearthed our dress. Kris had the brown thing removed and it's going to be made into a bolero. And mine is still (hopefully they don't get it wrong) going to be a bolero or a shawl (just not a scarf please!). Buti na lang, after that, both our moods improved because we were able to eat at this place called Bubble Gang Toppings. I ordered the pork tapa toppings while Kris ate the uber-yummy tuyo toppings. Hers was so good I intend to go back on Friday to eat my own tuyo toppings.

***

Pastor Julius invited me to the talents inC general meeting yesterday. I am now officially involved with talents inC (spelled that was because it means talents in Christ) and it's pretty exciting what they've planned for this year. I am already looking forward to again working with people from the entertainment industry more closely. They look like a fun bunch and it's really comforting to be with people who are happy and excited about life, it's uplifting.

***

I am starting to get over former OoA (Object of Affection), which is good news. I just realized how selfish I was not being happy for his gain, dwelling instead on my loss. But I do believe there is someone out there just for me and he's going to be worth the wait.

***

I went home to BF last night. I'm happy to be gaining another new sister in the person of my cousin Denise. She's my only cousin from the Manalo side who's here in Manila and I'm glad to be able to spend time with her (and Mama of course). I'm sure Papa is really happy about us cousins starting to become really close.

Getting Back the Rhythm

2006-01-15T02:36:00.000+08:00

How appropriate that they call one of my favorite music genres R&B. Rhythm and Blues. If my life were a soundtrack, you would be hearing heart-thumping, heart-breaking, soulful melodies right now. I think I'm having the blues. You know how I know? I keep on sleeping and I don't really feel like getting up, even if I've exceeded the needed 8 hours of rest. I know I'll get out of this one of these days and get my rhythm back. So that's what I'm trying to do now -- getting the blues out and getting back the rhythm. Easier said than done. But since I resolve to stay true to my blog's tagline above, I will do my very best to choose to be happy. No matter what.

I really am having a hard time understanding and uh-huh, accepting the turn of events but well, even if I don't understand, I know that I should praise God still. I know he closed this door on me for a good reason. He was my main distraction and I did pray (before I found out) for God to take the feelings away if He was not the man He intends for me to marry. One hour after I was forced to do just that -- forget my feelings for him and just move on. One of my friends said maybe his purpose in my life is already finished -- to help me forget my former significant other. Mission accomplished on that one. Now I need to get over him -- the guy who helped me get over my ex.

This is getting to be depressing so I'm copying this from my ex's sister's blog just because it's 3am and I don't feel like sleeping yet.

FAVORITES, FAVORITES and More FAVORITES..

Coffee.. Toffee Nut Latte and Coffee Jelly from Starbucks
Color.. Right now, I'm loving white, blue, purple and black
Chocolate.. Nestle Crunch, Cadbury Dairy Milk, Kisses, Any kind actually except those with coconut, orange, peppermint and dark chocolate
Lutong bahay.. Adobo, Sinigang (na super asim), Pritong Isda
Others under the "Food" category.. Oysters, cheese, KFC, Baked Ziti with white sauce and white pizza from Sbarro, Stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut, Yellow Cab Shrimp and garlic pizza, Gerry's sisig, Congo Grill's Nilasing na Hipon, UP Isaw, Manang's Inihaw and Pork Chop
Music.. Praise and Worship songs, Pop R&B
Sports.. Basketball
Movie.. My Best friend's Wedding, Serendipity, Just Like Heaven, Pretty Woman, A Lot Like Love,
Song.. Right now, Knees to the Earth by Watermark and Keep on Hoping by Raul Midon and Jason Mraz
Flowers.. Long-stemmed roses
Perfume.. Still by JLo, Miami Glow by JLo, Love in Paris
Expression.. Fudge

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'VE GOT THE BLUES?

Pray / Talk to God
Listen to Senti Songs
Read
Sleep
Watch TV

WHAT DO YOU PREFER?

Music or Sports? MUSIC
The Beach or The Mountains? The BEACH.
Rainy days or Sunny days? SUNNY DAYS.
Victoria's Secret or Bath and Body Works? BATH AND BODY WORKS.
Movie or Book? BOOK
Fruits or Vegetables? FRUITS
Read or Write? READ
Leader or Follower? LEADER
Listen or Speak? LISTEN (but I always end up speaking too)
Slippers or Rubber shoes? RUBBER SHOES (but I know I'm more often in flipflops)
Milk Chocolate, dark chocolate or White chocolate? MILK CHOCOLATE
TV or radio? TV

SShh.. NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW THESE THINGS ABOUT ME..

I'm scared of heights. I have this recurring dream that I'm on an elevator that's out of control, going up and down really fast. Some nights the elevator is even made of glass so I can see how high the drop's going to be.
There are days when I'm really really shy. I sometimes get really nervous calling someone I haven't met before.
I used to sing well. I just don't know what happened. Hindi ito joke.
I used to have crooked teeth. I also used to be so conscious because of it that I refused to show my teeth in pictures, which explains why in my grade school grad pic, I had a weird smirk on my face. (pinipilit kasi nila ako to smile more but I refused to open my mouth)
I have a secret dream to be OC.

By the way, my iPod won't work. Nahawa ata sa iPod ni Mica . But my case is worse. My brother and I were listening to it last night. Battery was half full as I just charged it middle of the week and I haven't been using it as regularly as I used to so I know something was up when suddenly the iPod flashed that I needed to connect the iPod to a power source. When I charged it, nothing came out on the screen. Tried to turn it on, nothing happened. It's only four months old so that iPod better come back to life...

Memorable Movie Quotes

2006-01-12T22:59:00.000+08:00

Julianna Potter (played by Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding): Michael... I love you. I've loved you for nine years, I've just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and... well, now I'm just scared. So, I realize this comes at a very inopportune time but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn't it?

Michael O'Neill (played by Dermot Mulroney): Kimmy says if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just...
Julianne Potter: Passes you by...
Michael O'Neill: Passes you by...

Dean (played by Jeremy Piven in Serendipity): Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Johnathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him," Kansky noted. Ultimately Johnathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny.

Wonderings of love lost

2006-01-12T21:26:00.000+08:00

To you:

I wonder if when you look at me, you can see my sadness. I wonder if when you see me smile, you know that I'm trying to be brave. I wonder if you know that everytime you're there, my tears threaten to stream down my face. I wonder if you can sense the longing I feel.

To be in her shoes... To be the one to make you smile, to be the one to make you laugh, to be the one to cook dinner for you, to be the one to fix your clothes every morning, to be the one you chat with about your day, to be the one you can experience things with.

Sometimes I wonder if there was something I did not do. Had I been too aloof? Had I been too evasive? If that time you made a step toward me, I had taken a step too, would things have been different? I know that I cannot change the things of the past but sometimes I wonder. I know that God's always prevails so I know I have no business to think otherwise, to think this is all a mistake. I guess the point I'm trying to make is deep in my heart, I am happy for you. I am happy that you have found the one for you.

I guess I'm sad not just because I long so much to be in her shoes, but a part of me wants to have a part what you two have. I want to have the history you have, how she first caught your eye, how you made a move to pursue her, when it was that you knew she's the woman God had intended for you to spend your life with. I want all that. Several people have already told me that God has better in store for me but right now, I can't imagine who that could be. I wonder how anyone can ever top you? On the other hand, I do believe that God has made for each one a perfect mate. And she's the one for you. And somewhere out there, there's someone also for me. I guess I just dreamt too much that it would be you and me in the end. I was sure that it was just a matter of time before it happened. But it is not so now.

Now, I need to let go of you, of the dreams that I have. I don't know how but by God's grace, I know it will happen. Enveloped in darkness and uncertainty, that is how I feel now. But I know that at the crack of dawn, the sun will come out, gradually creeping in to usher in a new day. I hope and I pray that that will be tomorrow.

Ouch!

2006-01-09T16:45:00.000+08:00

Newsflash: Object of affection is now officially in a relationship.

Someone said so last night. I was in shock and my hands became ice cold. Not really that gone to be heartbroken but I must admit there's an ouch factor.

The funny thing is I was praying yesterday, an hour before I found out about it, for God to take away what I'm feeling for this person because it's causing me to be distracted, to lose 100% focus on God. And boom, I found out. Prayer answered quite swiftly.

I'm happy for him because I know he's waited a long time and he looks happy. The girl, I'm sure, is a godly woman so they're both blessed to have each other.

It's just a shock.

Time to move on...

Must Guard Heart

2006-01-06T17:17:00.000+08:00

One of my New Year's Resolutions: MUST GUARD HEART

Love-wise, 2005 was not such a bad year. No relationships, because all of you know naman that I'm waiting for THE ONE so I'm not dating or entertaining but also no bad cases of infatuation. (Just an almost bad case because I was able to let go of the "crush" agad) I think this is primarily because my object of affection (the one I've had since May 2004) was out of sight.

The thing is he's back. I'm trying to not give him any notice but ewan ko ba, I really like this guy. I don't want to because I also have my misgivings about him but I guess what I'd like is the opportunity to get to know this guy better and for him to do the same.

But I know I have to stop pining over him because I'm putting my heart on the line again.

He waved hello to me yesterday and I was so excited I couldn't see straight! Napaka-high school!

Haaaay, sana naman this year, I can act normal around him and not be so conscious...

Mons, repeat after me: Must Guard Heart!

Welcoming 2006

2005-12-30T23:35:00.000+08:00

I woke up today feeling terrible. My head was literally spinning every time I turned my head. Imagine how it felt when I actually had to sit up, stand up, or walk to the bathroom. I don't know what was wrong with me but I thought I was going to pass out. My lola, Mama Julie, gave me medicine but it didn't help much in making me feel better--at least not immediately. Finally, when my mom suggested that we go see a doctor, the diziness disappeared--at around 4pm, a good 8 hours after I first felt the dizziness. I'm still feeling a bit nauseated (and I never feel nauseated, not even when I'm sick) but the dizziness is gone. I hope it doesn't come back because I did nothing but sleep the whole day, couldn't read, couldn't watch TV, couldn't even turn my head without feeling like hurling.

It's a good thing though, that I got sick today instead of the earlier this week because I just got back from a trip to Batangas with my family (father's side). It was a lot of fun, although Batangas is definitely NO match to my beloved Boracay. We stayed at a place called Balai sa Laiya, two resorts away from where Kris stayed (Blue Coral). So, even during the break, Kris and I saw each other and we were both a bit disappointed because we missed Boracay. Walking on the sands of Batangas was not a pleasurable experience. Swimming was not much fun either. The water was freezing the first day but I just couldn't resist the ocean. You take four steps into the sea and the water was up to your neck. The strong waves weren't much help, either. I must have inhaled a glassful of salt water that first day.

But all that didn't matter because I had a great time being with my family. There were twelve of us--me, Mama Letty, Lola Lulay (who is Tito Tong's mom), Tito Tong, Tita Menchi, Anton, Maia, Manito, Tito Jun, Tita Arlene, Denise, and Leah (Anton's girlfriend). My beach-deprived cousins from Switzerland did not want to leave the place but we left as planned yesterday.

***

Can you believe by this time tomorrow, it'll be January 1, 2006?! How fast 2005 has gone but I am always happy about new years, because I always see them as new beginnings. I have already finished my faith goals for 2006 and I am just excited about how God will move in my life this coming year. 2005 has sure been a roller coaster ride but it's been a wonderful year. I do believe, however, that the best is yet to come and I know every day, I am one day closer to having all of God's promises fulfilled in my life. I just can't wait!

Let's give 2006 a hearty welcome!

Happy New Year, everyone!!!

Important Announcement

2005-12-19T19:18:00.000+08:00

I have a new name.

Yes, folks. I finally decided. I am really, really tired having my name misprounounced. Heck, if Abram became Abraham and Jacob became Israel, then why can't I have a new name? Something that is actually easier to explain. The person who came up with Ro (for anyone who has mispronounced it in the past: it is Row, not Roh) is someone who used to be somewhat famous before because he's an athlete. This was when I was in high school and he had just joined the PBA and I sort of had a crush on him... He would always call me Row-mow-na, instead of Rah-mow-na, and since kinikilig ako dahil crush ko siya, I let him call me that. Eventually, it just became Ro and yun nga since I was then honored to have him give me a nickname, I made it my name and it stuck. People who knew me before senior year of high school still call me Ramona or Mona, which I actually like the sound of now, because my cousins are here and they call me Ate Mona (or Mons).

Anyway, from today on, I want everyone to start calling me Mons. My given name kasi is Ramona Cy. My mom likes Mons and Kris, my best friend, has finally come to terms with it so that will be my name from now on. Let's see how long before the name actually sticks...

Basta my decision is FINAL so don't tell me that you can't get used to calling me anything other than Ro kasi I'm tired of it na talaga. Okay, everyone? It's Mons, not Ro. Thanks and Merry Christmas!!

So this is how this feels

2005-12-17T15:00:00.000+08:00

My grandfather died today.

I have gone through life, not knowing how it feels to lose someone close to you, someone you love. I didn't know it would feel like this. While I am grateful to God for making a way for me to be able to spend quality time with him these last six months of his life, I feel some regret. I wish I'd hugged him harder, kissed him more, told him straight out that I loved him last Tuesday when I last saw him. He wasn't feeling well then and I even jokingly told him not to eat dinuguan anymore because my lola said that caused him to feel sick and caused his hand to swell. I told him, "Papa, magpagaling kayo ha?" and he characteristically replies, "Sana." I didn't think that would be our last conversation. I know that he knows that I love him with all my heart and I rest in that thought. I just wish I had given more effort that last Tuesday, not for him (because I know that he can see me now and I know he knows how much I love him) but for me because I'm going to miss him terribly.

My Papa Rody is the one of the kindest men I've ever met. Even growing up, I've always been a little scared of my Mama Letty kasi medyo mataray siya (like me), but my Papa was always gentle, always worrying about us, if we were okay, if we were safe, if we were eating right. He would constantly ask me if there was someone courting me na. He loved listening to my stories and I loved making him laugh. I loved telling him about God and I loved answering his questions about God. Until now, he worries about my dad, his eldest son. He would worry if my dad sounded sick over the phone. He would worry if my dad showed any hint of loneliness or weakness because he was scared that my dad would go back to his old ways. I always assured him that my dad wouldn't because once you get to know the Lord, you will never be the same again. He said once before, pwede na daw siya mamatay kasi alam niya lahat ng anak niya okay na.

He was just so kind -- he would drive me every morning for the last six months to the sakayan, he would call everytime I would forget to inform him what time I would be home, he always worried that I might be hungry, he always was so happy at the thought of being able to spend time with family -- me, Tita Menchi and my cousins, Tito Jun, Tita Arlene and Denise. Until now, he would be so proud of my lola, for looking the way she is. He would always tell me nagmellow na si Mama talaga. He loved my Mama very much.

Papa, I love you and I'm going to miss you so much. Thank you for being the best grandfather.

2005-12-16T19:09:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling a bit better but I'm still not in the best shape. Yesterday, on my way home, I was thinking that no matter what I do, I can't change what's happening around me. God gave everyone free will so no matter how much we plan and hope, if people around us choose to make bad decisions, we can't change that. What I CAN change is my attitude--how I'm going to deal with this trial in my life. It's mighty hard but I know God is bigger than this problem and I know, like my dad said, that no matter what happens, God's will will always prevail.

It's just really disheartening. You love a person with all your heart, always forgiving and always forgetting, always choosing not to look at the faults, instead dwelling on all the good things, on blood, on ties that bind. Always protecting, always encouraging. But again you are disappointed about the choices they make. I love this person still, with my whole heart, and I know I will never stop loving her. But somehow, I don't know. I feel like an outsider in my own home. I feel like an accident, as if I'm just someone she has to love by default, because I'm her daughter. I know that she's made supreme sacrifices while I was growing up, I know I owe my life to her and I do love her, but why do I feel like I'm not part of my own family anymore?

One thing's for sure. Now, more than ever, I appreciate God, because no matter what happens and no matter how rotten I've been in the past, He never left, He's always here, even when I was the one who treated Him like an outsider before.

Thank you, Lord. I love you. You are my family.

Testing Ongoing

2005-12-15T21:08:00.000+08:00

I am feeling pretty low right now. Some family matter, which is worse than my financial woes.

My heart is breaking, I can't really go into details, but that is how I feel right now. Heartbroken about my family. Praying and hoping, standing in faith really, that one day soon everything is going to be the way God wants it. I know God hears me and He's going to turn everything around, may not be in the way I want it, but His way which is the best way anyway.

Money Woes

2005-12-15T14:45:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my life, I am having financial difficulties.

I remember being in prayer meetings and there would be so many people around me praying for financial breakthrough. I always thought how blessed I was for not having to worry about money. Then, my family moved to Laguna and I had to live with my grandparents and make a contribution, which was all good because I understood their situation. I decided then to move to my a place nearer work and now I have to pay rent, which is much bigger than my contribution at my grandparents' place but I said I needed to do this so I can really start growing up.

It's scaring me, really. And while I was computing kanina, I wanted to cry because I'm not even going to have any little amount left to put in my savings. I used to have P2,000 to spend for food and everyday expenses for two weeks. Now, I will have P900 left for food and traveling expenses (coming home from Laguna and going to BF once a week -- that's 60 for the trip from Laguna and 60 for the travel to QC, which means 120 subtracted pa from 900, which will then be left for food.)

It's scary because I'm not used to this. I was thinking bawasan ko na lang kaya ang tithe ko, but I know I can't do that because that first 10% doesn't belong to me, wala pa nga akong offering sa lagay na yon. Nilubos ko na this December when I got my 13th month pay and gave some extra money for offering. I do believe in the Sow and Reap principle so I will stand in faith that this financial lack is only temporary.

One thing's for sure, starting today I will be praying for financial breakthrough.

Sa Bahay ni Ate

2005-12-12T20:49:00.000+08:00

Kung merong Bahay ni Kuya (Congratulations, Nene!), meron ding bahay ni Ate. Ate Eden, that is, my leadershp group leader. I moved into the condo last week and so far it's been good. The room I once thought was super cramped turned out to be not as cramped. I brought in the TV and DVD player last Friday and although it took up some space, I can still walk to the bathroom comfortably. I'm even starting to get used to having the electric fan (which we inherited from the owner of the place) rotating permanently. I'm still a bit uneasy about the floors. I'm used to being barefoot in my own house but the floor in my room (it being a maid's room in its former life) is just too suspect. Kaya pala before Ate Eden was asking me if I was going to put a carpet. So, instead of using the bathroom rug outside the bathroom, I put it near my bed so that I don't have to feel the cold floor. The window is just always open so I really feel the Christmas breeze and I have even found it so conducive for reading. I actually stopped a lot of my reading when I moved into my grandparents' place but now I read every night and have even gotten into the habit of reading the Bible as soon as I wake up, which used to be impossible for me to do before because I would always be in a hurry in the morning. Now, I can wake up at 9:30 and be at the office at 10am, so I'm not panicked, hurried, or harrassed when I get to work.

My housemates are nice. I still have to get to know them better but so far, everyone's been nice and accomodating. We pretty much leave each other alone to do whatever we want so I get the privacy that I need. I just can't be as controlling of the TV as I usually am because it's not my TV but I'm content being able to watch any TV at all. Medyo nahihiya pa kasi ako magchannel surf ngayon although feeling ko naman pwede. My other housemates have unconventional jobs, too, like one is a freelance production person so she wakes up late and comes home late, Ate Eden does events, Lilette is a dentist so she's out whenever she has patients. I don't know what the other two people do but they're usually not in the house when I leave and are already sleeping when I get there. I am hoping to get to know them better in the coming days.

12 Days to Christmas!

Christmas Wishlist

2005-12-02T19:19:00.000+08:00

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Christmas! I love the smell of Christmas, I love the feel of Christmas and most of all I love the little guy born on this day some 2000 years ago! I love giving gifts and of course, receiving gifts, too. This Christmas will be a truly special one, I am certain.God is good.

I don't know if this will help anyone but I'm listing down some things that I'm hoping to get this Christmas:
1. A digital camera

2. Proactiv Solution (Alicia Keys and Jessica Simpson are just so convincing but it's wayyy expensive for me. 4000 for two months? Yikes, I'd rather go to the dermatologist but if I can get it free or discounted, I'd be more than willing to try it.)

3. Skirts Size: XL

4. This beautiful jacket from Terra Nova. It's black and hooded with glittery stuff in front. I wanted to buy it for myself but thought it was too expensive. When I was up for it na, it was gone. :( (Size: L) Kris got it for me na! I can't believe it! All along it was in their bodega. Buti I asked about it because who knows when they'd bring it out again... And price was slashed by 50% Ang galing!!!

5. ~~hangers~~, ~~an extension cord~~, shampoo (Vaseline na orange or Pantene na green), rubber mat for the bathroom, ~~air freshener (the spray kind a la Glade)~~, ~~Domex cleanser~~... A rubber doily so my lamp won't slide, a rack to put stuff on, a small bedside rug, a mop, a broom and dustpan (Yes, ~~I'm moving in next week~~ I've moved in!)

6. Earrings (Dangly ones) Can never get enough of those...

7. Back issues of the US editions of the following magazines: Marie Claire, Shape, and O.

8. VCDs I don't have yet (While You Were Sleeping, ~~Beaches~~, Sixteen Candles, ~~The Little BlackBook~~, You've Got Mail, Envy, The Mirror Has Two Faces...)

9. Marks and Spencer Cocoa Butter and Vanilla hand and nail cream

10. ~~the book "Power of a Praying Woman" by Stormie Omartian~~

11. Burt Bee's lip balm

Advence Merry Christmas, everyone! :)

Postscript:

Kris requested a list of her own so here goes:

Choose from the following

1) Marks and Spencer Cocoa Butter and Vanilla hand and nail cream
2) the book "Power of a Praying Woman" by Stormie Omartian
3) Burt Bee's lip balm

A Happy Birthday Indeed!

2005-11-13T15:31:00.000+08:00

This birthday is the best one yet!

Nothing out of the ordinary really happened. No party, no dinner out with friends... But I felt really loved and that's what's important. I don't think I've had so many people greet me on my birthday. Even those least likely to remember did and I'm happy about that. So to all of you who remembered my special day, THANK YOU!

My birthday ended early though because by around 6pm, I'd already forgotten that it was my birthday. There were just so many things happening on account of the FHM GND Party. I just so wanted to compensate for the lack of press people at the Marie Claire event. I know it's not my fault and that I can't coerce anyone to come to a launch if they don't want to but I was still disappointed. My workload has become overwhelming these days and sometimes the pressure gets to me. I know it shouldn't and I'm trying to just handle everything the way God wants me to but sometimes I still trip and fall flat on my face.

**post script**

The above entry was posted as draft around three weeks ago and it's only now that I've gotten the chance to update my blog. So many things have happened these past three weeks and I'm just overwhelmingly grateful.

Something funny happened post FHM GND Party. Just when I thought I had done well in keeping my cool during the party (and the people who work with me can attest to how crazy FHM parties can go), I had apparently raised my voice at a member of our events team. I had to clear it up and it turns out the "incident" happened even before the party started. May nasungitan daw ako, handing over a streamer. This is funny because I don't even remember doing that because I really took extra care to be in high spirits that day, since it was my birthday. I guess because I was wearing my iPod, my voice came out louder than usual. But I truly did not mean to offend or hurt anyone. I know naman pag nagsusungit na ako and definitely hindi ko sinungitan yung person na yon. Pero sabi nga ni Alma, he was tired na din that day. Just glad I was able to resolve that.

I'm moving into the condo next week! Watch out for my kwento about my new living arrangements.

Prayer Answered

2005-11-08T12:40:00.000+08:00

This is going to be a quick post. I've been praying for quite a while for a condo unit here in Ortigas. I don't have enough money for a big place so I was resigned to just getting a studio, which I wanted to share with someone. But I kept on postponing looking for a unit to rent because I'm not really sure how I can afford everything on my meager salary. There are debts to settle and my mobile phone bill to pay every month. Plus, if I start living on my own, I need to pay for electricity, water, and cable. And I'd have to trouble my mom to ask her to buy me the necessities, like a refrigerator, a microwave oven, a bed, etc...

Yesterday, I attended my first leadership meeting with Ate Eden's group. There was a chance for me to join her group earlier but because there were hindrances (my own selfish motive being one of them), I only joined yesterday. God certainly rearranged things so that there would be no reason for me not to join the group. And guess what! Ate Eden, during prayer requests, asked that we pray for someone to occupy one room in her 3-br condo unit at AIC. It's just a small room, but it has its own bathroom. There's a sala for everyone, a TV with cable, a refrigerator. In other words, all I need to bring are my clothes, my books, my VCDs and myself! But I'm planning also to bring my TV and a DVD player because you folks know how much of a movie freak I am. And the great part is that the rent is only 5k all in -- no elecricity, water or cable bills to pay! That's a great deal! Plus, my housemates will all be from church so my mom doesn't need to worry about me getting mixed up with people with questionable values. It's great, it's great! So, I'm checking it out this week. Will tell you more about it soon.

Happy Birthday to me!!

2005-11-06T11:18:00.000+08:00

I'm turning 27 on Thursday. Can you believe that? I've been practicing a bit during the long break. If someone asks "How old are you?" I answer, "I'm 27." That sounds really strange. Somehow, I was able to see myself as a 24-, 25-, and 26-year-old. But being 27 is something I will have to get used to. You know how there are ages you actually envision yourself being? Like when you're a kid, being 10, 12, 13, 16, and 18 are a big deal. When you're 18, being 20, 21, and maybe 25 are ages to look forward to. But I guess for me, I just never imagined myself being 27. That's a pretty grown-up sounding number and yes, maybe it's about time I did some growing up.

I just realized that my birthday is really perfect because every year, I have a week or so to relax and just ponder on the past year and look forward to the coming year. God really did time that so I woudn't be too harrassed during my bday. Of course, there's that FHM party to attend to but I still have nothing to complain about because well, I just had a whole week to rest.

I've been trying to finish the book that I'm reading right now. I'm down to the last few chapters. The book is called "Your Best Life Now," written by Pastor Joel Osteen of Lakewood Church in Houston. Very appropriate because there are many areas in my life right now that I feel God is telling me to change for the better. And I'm just happy and grateful that at my age, I am beginning to really know better. Dati kasi I was full of pride, never recognizing or admitting the things I had to change. Now, finally, God is letting me know what these things are and I'm more than willing to change them, with God's grace of course. At least, one of the major things have been dealt with. Yes, folks, it's been more than a month of not smoking. Exactly 37 days. I know there will probably moments when I will be tempted but I believe God will help me through it. At least I don't have to lie to my siblings anymore or hide from people at church. Heehee... I'm mighty happy about that.

Going back to the book, it's really shed light on the areas I really have to change. Many things have been revealed to me and believe me, I probably lost some water weight from crying. It wasn't a sad book (it's a great book!), but it was just really talking to me. Sometimes what I read is not really for me but for friends who are in the low moments of their life right now and I can't wait to see those friends again so that I can share the truths I've learned.

I was thinking if I should put my to-change and to-do list here... You'll probably all be observing me and I was thinking if I wanted that and run the risk of being judged or laughed at. But I was thinking that if I'm really serious about this, I need to let all of you know. So here, my friends, are the things I have to change/improve on this year:

Temper - As you all know, this has been a problem for me in the past. I swear, hindi ako ganito dati but now I know, after a series of flashbacks, when I started to "act up" in this area. I won't say na lang when but what I can say is that it was a big *aha!* moment when I finally figured it out. And now that I know where it came from, I am hoping that I will have more success in controlling it. So pag nagsusungit na ako, please warn me na so that I don't get to the boiling point.

Timidity - I know, you must be wondering why this is here. But believe it or not, there are moments talaga na nahihiya ako. There are days naman when I am confident but I guess there are still times when I'm scared of putting myself out there and actually talking to people. I still get intimidated by a LOT of people, people you guys probably do not find intimidating. I have to stop stammering and getting nervous about talking to people because they are only people, too.

Humility - Need to improve on this. Humility and timidity are not the same. There's a big difference about being confident and being conceited. I sure don't want to be conceited but I feel there have been times in the past when I was so. Birthday resolution: Sabi nga ni Iza Calzado: stop comparing yourself to other people! That's probably what's making me timid at times and conceited at times. I don't know exactly how I will improve on this but I'm just praying for God's help.

Spending - Credit cards are wonderful. (Ha!) But I really must cut back on my spending. I really can't afford (at least not right now) all these things I've been buying. So I will pay off those debts by next year and just really buy what I need, instead of buying just what I want.

Organization - I have always, always dreamed of becoming organized. It must sound funny but I've always had a secret dream of becoming OC. I'm pretty good with details naman but I just really admire girls whose bags are so neat, whose desks have things on them but are still immaculate, who can actually keep a datebook. I drank a LOT of coffee just to get that Starbucks datebook but after March, I just gave up and left it at home. I want to finally get a datebook that I will use everyday. I want to list down all the things I need to do EVETYDAY and actually do them and put neat little checks next to the things I've accomplished. Weird but I really want to do that.

Weight - Nakakainis talaga! I lost 25 pounds from last year. Have gained back half of that. I'm scared that I might gain the rest. So please, please encourage me or if needed, drag me to the gym. I really cannot starve myself so the only solution for me really is to work out.

There. I think that's it. Will probably have more (faith) goals come new year so watch out for that. Thanks, everyone! It's been great being 26! :) Looking forward to 27 being even better!

Thankful

2005-10-15T08:55:00.000+08:00

First off, I have finally quit my former favorite thing to do. It's been 15 days, having stoppped on October 1 after having come home from Bora. Sometimes I still feel the urge and I don't feel free because I'm saying No to something I've done and loved for 7 years but after that initial pang of helplessness, I feel liberated because I'm not a slave to it anymore. And I thank God everyday for giving me the strength (and self-control) to carry on.

Everything is just really going well. God's favor is with me and I am utterly grateful for everything He's doing in my life. It's true, God works for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). He's just answering my every prayer. More importantly, I know that slowly but surely He is changing my heart, my mind, cutting away all the areas that are not pleasing to Him and increasing all that is good. Still a long way to go but with God's grace, I'll get there.

Hmmm... I also have to make kwento about what happened with my Wade shoes. Wednesday last week, I wore my fairly new black high-heeled sandals (bought from the department store). Kris and I went on a TV Tour that day and pag dating sa GMA, hindi na ako halos makalakad. I used to be a heels girl, even going as far as explaining to people that I'm flat footed and it hurts more to wear flats than heels (which was true in college) but somehow my feet have changed, what with the onslaught of fashionable tsinelas (read: Havainas) and multi-color strap bakyas (read: Happy Feet). Anyway, nowadays, even at events I would rather be in Havs, Happy Feet or good ol' sneakers (even Chucks hurt, that's how sensitive my feet have become).However, being employed in a fashion-forward company, I most of the time feel like I'm not making an effort to try to be a bit fasyon (not one of my stronger suits really) because I'm so scared of being uncomfortable. I thought, if these beautiful people can endure wearing stilletos everyday, hey, I probably can, too (in the name of style).

That proved to be wrong because that Wednesday I literally couldn't walk straight anymore. So, I limped over to Celine (to find no decent flat pair), limped again to VNC (to not find the particular pair I was looking for) and finally limping to Wade where I saw these gorgeous silver strappy flats. I don't know exactly what they're called (the style of shoe, I mean) but they look a bit like this but with a solid back part, more pointed shape and basta maganda siya ...
I was happy about the shoes, to say the least. I was determined to even buy the pink and the green. Believe me, I'm the type to buy all colors of something I really like. They were reasonably priced at P899, I thought, since I can use the shoes for a few years (flat shoes, in my experience, are definitely more durable than high-heeled ones).

Imagine my displeasure when during class last Wednesday (exactly seven days after I bought them), I found a strap broken. I was disappointed and was intent on having it fixed at Mr. Quickie the following day. When I got back to the office after my class, I examined what happened to the shoe and was shocked to see that the sole was split in half. I showed it to Kris and she said I should return it. Ako pa naman, as much as possible, I don't like complaining. It's energy-draining and sometimes I just let it be because it's too much of a hassle to get worked up (yes, I'm still at the stage na I still get worked up but someday sana I don't na). But I had the shoes for only 7 days and P899 is definitely not a reasonable price for something you're just going to use for a week. So, the very next day, I brought the shoes (still in its original box and bag) and the receipt and complained at the Wade store in Galleria. The girl whom I talked to was nice, asking me to come back because they would call the head office to report the incident, sabi pa niya baka nagkataon lang hindi maganda ang nabili kong pair and she apologized. Not even a hint of getting worked up, I was smiling from the second I went in until I left the store. The following day as I was browsing for (more) shoes at the department store, I received a text message from the girl at Wade, hindi na daw pwede palitan ang shoes kasi lampas na sa deadline. Mind you, I never demanded for a replacement. I brought the shoes to complain but I was well aware that it had been 8 days and that the receipt indicated that returns and exchanges can only be done within seven days of purchase. On the other hand, I was not expecting that nothing would be done about it. Surely there must be something they could do to appease the customer. So, I trudged over to Wade, quite upset. I asked for the number of the head office and the name of the owner which they refused to give (the name I mean) for security purposes, I suppose. As I was heading out, I saw two women at the sale rack and casually I tell them "Miss, wag kayo bibili dito. After 7 days, sira na ang sapatos," a fact. When I got back to the office, I realized that they hadn't returned my receipt so I went back. GH associate publisher Anna was there so I told her about my experience. She went ahead and bought the bag she was inteding to get. Point? No lost business. At least not yet.

So, when I got back to the office, I called their head office. I explained my plight to the first girl who answered. She excused herself, sandali lang daw, and forgetting to cover the mouthpiece said, "ikaw na nga, nakakairita eh." I was NOT even shouting, my voice was level, borderline friendly pa nga and that's what I, a customer, get. Nakakairita? So, she passes me to another woman, named Meryl. Meryl proceeded to tell me what I already knew, hindi pwede dahil lampas na sa 7 days. Sabi ko I understand that but I will not allow that nothing be done about my situation. At least, give me a partial refund or cover the cost of having the sandals repaired, because truth be told, I am so disappointed with the shoes and the experience that I never want to buy their shoes again. She said, "eh yun naman pala ma'am. Dapat sinabi niyo na ipagawa na lang. Kasi nireport na din namin ito sa boss namin, nagalit siya dahil nangharang kayo ng customer..." Ako, nangharang?? I told 3 people at the store, but if their shoes are indeed good quality, they shouldn't be worrying about those three people. That's what they failed to understand. One irate customer will tell ten of her friends, those ten friends will tell another ten, and so on. A happy customer, in fact, will probably tell few of her good purchase so appeasing one dissatisfied customer is worth more than a satisfied one. Yes, maybe nagkataon shoes ko lang yung ganon. Maybe mine was an isolated incident, shouldn't they then try to rectify this one situation? Because I sure won't take it sitting down. Kahit hassle, I was ready to write to the papers, to DTI, and email to everyone I know my experience. Sila pa ang galit sa akin and the girl Meryl said, kayo ang customer dapat kayo ang magsabi kung anong gusto niyong mangyari. I said, this is the first time I've ever complained about a purchase so I was expecting also to be given options. Apparently, ako pa ang may kasalanan ng lahat. So, I said after a useless 15 minutes of talking, never mind, I'll just go ahead and write to the authorities. She said, sige ho.

Now I understand that they are just doing their job but if I were in their place, instead of being boss-oriented, I would be more customer-oriented. My mom was at a conference where Sam Walton was a speaker last week. Sam Walton owns Wal-Mart. In the 1960s, a man bought a thermos from Wal-Mart. In 1983, with the thermos and receipt in tow, he asked for an exchange. The thermos, he said, was leaking. Indeed it was. Wal-Mart replaced the thermos. I checked out Wal-Mart's website and in their rules for building a business is "Rule 8:
Exceed your customers' expectations. If you do, they'll come back over and over. Give them what they want - and a little more. Let them know you appreciate them. Make good on all your mistakes, and don't make excuses - apologize. Stand behind everything you do. The two most important words I ever wrote were on that first Wal-Mart sign, "Satisfaction Guaranteed." They're still up there, and they have made all the difference." How I wish store owners in the Philippines train under Sam Walton.

Anyway, Kris got the Wade and F&H marketing person's number from fashion ed Donna. Mabait daw si Alan. True enough, the graciousness and understanding the three people I had talked to previously di not give was made up for by Alan. He assured me that he would notify the owners immediately. When I got back to my seat, our direct line rang, the owner of Wade was calling. She, too, was quite gracious, which I appreciate, She proceeded to tell me that even if I went to DTI, the rule states that after 7 days, they cannot make exchanges. They are just following the law. Again I went on to express my point. In the end, she agrees to having the shoes repaired and if it's impossible to repair (aha!) then they would replace the pair. And that she hoped we could still be friends. (I apologized for telling those three people about my 7day-sira-agad dilemma but hoped she understood why I did so) *sigh of relief* Natapos din... after 1 million years...

Alan again called and said that the other owner of Wade/F&H was informed of the situation already. He understoof I had already talked to Ms. L (the owner) and yes, I said that she said she would have the shoes repaired. Alan said No, he talked to them (the owners) to have the broken pair replaced. All's well that ends well.

From this experience, I have learned that we musn't settle for substandard. We have a right as consumers and we should get our money's worth. Complaining is tiring but if you have a point to make, it is important to go out of your way to make a point.

***

Bora on my Mind

2005-10-04T10:30:00.000+08:00

We got there at 9am. By 9:30, we were at the beach, soaking up the sun.

Sipping the famous Jonah's shakes

Bora's famous sandcastles

For five days, we were face to face with beauty.

After a meal of rice, ribs and lots of oysters @ Gastohf

Kris and me in Bora again! :)

Dining at Aria. The best Italian resto in the Philippines!

The carbonara was oh-so-yummy!

It's party time!!! (Clockwise from left: Stevie, me, Argentinian Marco, French guy Careen, German guy Sebastian, Pete Sampras look-alike, Kristine, Treena, Smith look-alike, and M)

The party went on 'til 3am...

Party pala ha...

My first-ever tattoo! Came off after three days.

After the talipapa burned down, this posh walkway rises. Hmmm...

Soaking up the sun on our last day

Final group shot before we go back to Manila *sniff*

Bliss and Blue Skies... At Last!

2005-09-24T20:31:00.000+08:00

Just two more days and we're off to paradise. This is what we've been waiting for the entire year and the day is finally nearing. I just love waking up early, like 5am, having had just two hours of sleep because I was too excited thinking about tomorrow. I love feeling the cold wind as I leave the house. I love the cold air in the domestic airport, love the Mister Donut, love those uncomfortable chairs. I love waiting to board the plane, love walking out to the tarmac, love boarding that small plane that will take me to bliss and blue skies. I love the scary sounds the little airplane makes and the fact that being up with the clouds causes my pores to get huge. I love the humpy landing and getting out of the plane, having my senses get used to the air that is definitaly not Manila's. I love the smell of the sea, getting myself wet on the boatride and yes, even the manongs carrying our bags and my big a** to the shore. I love the feel of the white sand on my feet and the prospect of having this be my HOME for five whole days.

***

Postscript: Please ignore the former post. I was delusional. There was no Ateneo-La Salle game. I was not there, screaming my head off. I did not walk in the rain from Edsa to Araneta to watch Ateneo again be trampled on by La Salle. No, I do not even know why I'm writing this.

Payback Time

2005-09-14T12:12:00.000+08:00

I'm watching the second Ateneo-La Salle game tomorrow. You will remember how DLSU beat the brains out of ADMU the last time. And I was there to watch the horrific incident. Yes, I was there until the end and I proudly sang our school song despite the humiliating defeat.

But oh this time it will be different. I just know it. I, Sorsi, and Carol will be clad in blue tomorrow as we march to Araneta Coliseum to witness payback. My heart is beating with anticipation.

Wait for my in-depth report.

Aftermath

2005-09-13T13:06:00.000+08:00

My temper got the best of me yet again. Exactly a day after I prayed to God to please please help me overcome my bad temper and fill me with a gentle spirit. I failed the first test... AGAIN.

It's discouraging, really. I used to be a quiet kid. Then high school came and I had to adjust to all the pressure and the bullying by being as intimidating as I could be. The transition was not easy but when college came, it started to feel good to be able to be a toughie.

Now, I'm surrounded by people who will smile amidst what they feel inside and I suddenly wish I'd stayed in the all-girls school I was supposed to attend--maybe I'd have a gentler spirit now.

Always after the storm I see the destruction that I had caused and I am filled with regret. If only I had done things differently...

Of crushes and cuties

2005-09-09T23:55:00.000+08:00

The last time I ever remember being boy-crazy was when I was in college. After I got together with my ex, which was a few months after graduation, I became somewhat unaffected by gorgeous men. Yes, there was the occasional crush here and there, but it was never like I had several guys whose mere memory would bring a smile to my face.

But I am happy and somehow proud to say that, although it would be going overboard to say that I have turned boy-crazy as in high school and college days again, I am beginning to appreciate men and their different sizes, shapes, and personalities.

This change was brought about by the only event that allows you to just scream your head off at the sight of half-naked men (which happens only once a year, so please allow us this) and not be looked at as some man-crazed harlot. Yup, I am talking about the Cosmo Bachelor Bash.

I never really fully appreciated the Bachelor Bash before. The first time I handled the PR for this event, I think I ended up having a huge fight with my then-boyfriend. The second time, I was not quite over my ex (the one I fought with the year before) and I guess I didn't really have as much fun in the past years because I just have to say that this batch of 69 bachelors and 10 centerfolds (well, maybe not every single one of them because there were a few who were arrogant and uncooperative, and they realize after that this is the time to turn the charm on) is the best ever -- maybe not looks-wise, but definitely personality-wise.

I don't think Kris, Mica, M and I will ever forget the bunch of guys we bonded with in the two-or-so weeks that we were with them. I think some bonded with particular guys (or a particular guy) more than the others so I personally would like to announce my official crush list post Bachelor Bash (listed in no particular order):

Marco Alcaraz - He came off as sort of mayabang when I first saw him. Ako pa naman I have a weird "akala-mo-sikat-ka-hindi-kita-papansinin-oy" mentality when it comes to celebrities. But this guy is just a real sweetheart. I forgot to say that by saying crush, I don't mean I'll be out stalking them (oh those days are so over! well... maybe except for stalking certain bald baller-boy looking guys that I want my best friend to marry... or maybe certain short but cute and extremely impressive men of God [before yon! uy defensive]), I just mean that they make me smile and yes, a little kilig when they say hello or text me or very awkwardly touch my growing-by-the-minute tummy. I am attracted to them at a sana-kuya-o-batang-kapatid-ko-siya level. Going back to Marco, he's just a really sweet guy so what's not to love?

Will Devaughn - Yes, I see that he's drop-dead gorgeous. He's not exactly my type but beauty like that is not something anyone can ignore. What struck me most though is how he was with us. He was never stuck up, never took advantage of women swooning over him. He always had a smile on his face and when you talked, he would listen. The world didn't revolve around him (or his friggin' modelling association's sports fest, ahem ahem). More than being just a pretty face, there's a vulnerability and pure-heartedness about him that most women would not notice. So, I'm extremely happy that I'm one of the x-number of people who actually saw and experienced this first-hand.

Apollo Jones - Oh, how can you not smile when he talks to you with that accent. Sabi nga ni M, Ayy-Pee-Oh-Duble-el-ow. I'm staring at his eyes, trying to comprehend what he just said, but it's oh so distracting. He's just really down-to-earth and I see a kind of gratefulness in his being that makes his aura so positive. And the way he always tries to speak in Filipino is just so endearing. While most Filipino model-wannabes are getting their tongues twisted with fake accents, this guy goes the extra mile making Filipinos around him more comfortable by not acting like it's an embarrassment to be talking in their native language.

Mikey Capellan - I used to see him walking around the Ateneo campus when he was in high school. He was already quite tall but certainly not as buff as he is now. When I first stood beside him and saw how he was towering over me at the GMA dressing room, I was shocked. Was this really Monica's little brother? He's just so cute and tall and well... big, he makes my heart beat ( and I mean this in the purest, most-brotherly way). And for those who say that he looks like James Yap, utang ng loob, HINDI! Mikey is wayyyyyyy cuter!

Victor Basa - I think I see a pattern here. When I was in college, I used to like bad boys (thus the affiliation with the likes of Marvin Ortiguerra, etc...). Okay, I will even go as far as admitting that yes, I used to have a teeny crush on Iago Raterta *faint right here* but that look doesn't seem to do it for me anymore. Check out my above choices... Marco, Mikey... They're all so boyish looking with just a miniscule tinge of naughtiness. And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, I chose Vic Basa to round up my Top 5 Crushes of 2005. I'm almost uncomfortable seeing him half or otherwise naked. It's really not the body that I see when I see Victor. He's just got a boyish charm--the way he can finish a huge plate of food (thisfast) when he's supposedly on a diet, the way he smiles with his full pouty lips and his little teeth, the way he looks so panicked when someone on the phone is demanding that he be in her house NOW. He's just such an endearing boy-man.

Haaay... It's really going to be awfully dull until next September. I just hope we get to see these boys again, sometime soon.

Written in the Stars?

2005-08-18T11:30:00.000+08:00

Cassiopeia: one of only three female figures in the northern skies. This constellation is one of the circumpolar constellations visible at about 40° north latitude. Its legends often reflect the fact that the constellation never sets below the horizon.
Greece: she was the vain and beautiful Queen of Philistia, sometimes referred to as Ethiopia. Claiming to have beauty that rivaled the Nereids, her punishment was the sacrifice of her daughter, Andromeda, to the sea monster Cetus. After her daughter was saved and promised to Perseus as his wife, Cassiopeia plotted with her daughter's fiancée Agenor, to kill Perseus. While outnumbered and attacked at his wedding feast, Perseus pulled Medusa's head from his bag and transformed Cassiopeia, Agenor and his men to stone. The Queen and King Cepheus are depicted in the sky facing each other's feet. They cannot speak to each other. Because the Queen insulted the sea nymphs, the pair never set below the surface of the sea. The constellation's name is derived from a Phoenician phrase that means the Rose-Colored Face. (info from ufrsd.net)

***

I watched Seredipity for the nth time last night. I was feeling particularly sentimental because a good friend of mine had just broken up with her significant other for reasons similar to the cause of my own breakup with my own former SO. I won't go into details but what had happened to me and to my friend H made me think: Is there really someone out there for me? Do I still believe in destiny?

The answer came easily. Yes, I do believe. There is, after all, a supreme power that is greater than any of us, bigger than our own plans and dreams. The twist is that this supreme power is not someone who is merely a being that looks on from afar. He is love and we are the manifestation of His love.

Imagine this--you meet someone who takes your breath away. He falls for you and you fall for Him, too. He tells you that you are his life and you believe it, so you give your all to this person, knowing that whatever happens, he will be there. He already declared his undying devotion to you and you know in your heart that he will never leave. Then comes another girl, someone who starts out as an amusement. He ignores the warning signs, he ignores the guilt he feels. Inch by inch, he walks toward the line of danger, the point of no return. He believes so much that he loves you and that he couldn't possibly love anyone else. He's just having some fun, some friendship. But while he tiptoes near the line of danger, he trips and crosses to the other side. Now he knows what it feels and it gives him exhilaration. After all, for quite some time, he has known but one kind of love, the one he had with you. But when he stepped out of the fence, the boundary that protected him, he feels free. He looks at you from the other side and still feels some longing for you. But the newness of this sensation is just so tempting. You are left inside and you know that however far he goes, your love will never change. When he is ready, when he is willing, he can come back and you will open your arms to receive him.

Some love story, huh? Yes, it is. Because that's how God loves us-- unconditionally. No matter what we do or where we go, He is there, waiting for us to realize that no matter where on earth we look for love, for acceptance, for identity, for purpose, there is only one who can satisfy. Yes, the one we left behind, the one waiting with open arms for us.

***

I believe in destiny because God promises us that. I believe there is someone out there for me, someone He wants me to be with and even if I stay inside an isolated tower, He will find a way to bring us together because that's the kind of God He is to the people who love Him with all their hearts, to them who choose Him first.

***

Going back to the movie...

If we believe in destiny, then we should also know that our fate is not in our hands. It's not in anyone else's hands, for that matter. Our whole life is in God's hands alone, if only we let Him take over. A dear friend once told me that God breaks hearts so He has space to come in, and I believe that.

I won't try to justify cheating because there is no excuse for that. You make a decision, you stick with it. If you make a mistake, be ready for the consequences. But I also think that there are things that are not meant to be as there ARE those that, no matter how far they run, no matter how much time has passed, are really meant to be.

Mind your Peace and Queues

2005-08-17T21:40:00.000+08:00

I have a thing about lines.

I have always believed that to maintain a certain order, people have to wait their turn. I always make sure that whenever I'm in a place with a lot of people waiting--be it a taxi terminal, a government office, a restaurant--that I am lining up properly. Sometimes I go as far as remembering who arrived before me (in the case that there are no lines, no numbers given out or no reservation list) just to be fair to other people. I guess that is why I expect the same kind of consideration from other people.

Many times, though, I am reminded that not everyone is willing to extend this same courtesy.

Last Monday, August 15, Kris and I headed to Equitable PCI Bank in Galleria. It was payday so we expected a long line. True enough, when we got there, around 25 people were already in queue. We fell in line with all the others and engaged in conversation. We were a bit bothered by this twenty-something woman wearing maroon pants, because she was running all over the place, noisily chatting with her friends and seemingly flirting with a guy she and her friends ran into. The whole scene was distracting but we continued our conversation.

Half an hour later, Kris and I were nearing the ATM machine and this girl suddenly announces to her friends that she has to get back in line. The thing is I never remembered her being in line, in the first place. I assumed that if she had left the line that she asked one of her friends to take her place or, at the very least, let the person behind her know that she was leaving for a moment and would be coming back.

Naiinis na ako, kasi nga I have a thing about lines. I told Kris that the girl better not be cutting the line. I was especially agitated having been in line for half an hour. Maroon pants created her own second line (you know how when traffic is bad, drivers don't follow the lines painted on the road and instead make their own lines and end up cutting people who actually stayed on the right lane? Ganon ang ginawa niya.) and slithered her way into our line. I saw that Kris was also getting irritated. I also saw the girl two spaces before us giving maroon pants a dirty stare and the guy in front of us doing the same. Maroon pants oh-so-casually inched her way between the girl and the guy but did they even mutter a word? No.

So, I tapped the guy on the shoulder (who ignored me the first time, by the way) and said, "nagpaalam ba 'yan sa iyo na aalis siya sa pila at babalik ulit?" Hindi daw. So I tapped him again, "paki tanong nga dun sa nasa harap niya kung nagsabi siya?" This time, hindi talaga ako pinansin. So, I asked maroon pants herself, "Excuse me, nakapila ka ba? Nagsabi ka bang aalis ka sa pila at babalik ka?" She haughtily answered something like "oo, baket?" I go, "hindi ka nagsabi," tapping the guy again, urging him to speak up and he sort of shook his head and muttered something. So, I said "para ka naman walang pinag-aralan eh..." Surprisingly, she fought back with "ikaw ang walang pinagaralan. nakikialam ka pa!"

I didn't have to say anything anymore because Kris came to the rescue with a load of expletives. Now, I'm forever trying to deal with my temper pero pag talaga nasa ganitong sitwasyon ka, it's so hard to control. The funny thing is despite being extremely irritated, I found the whole thing hilarious.

Pano naman the girl started echoing everything Kris said:

Kris: You F***** B****! W****!
Maroon Pants: You F***** B**** W**** ka rin!
Kris (in wonderfully perfect American accent): Do you even know what that means?
Maroon Pants: Yes (sabay talikod)

I try to be the voice of reason,"alam mo, miss, sa amin lang naman, pumila ka ng maayos. kung lahat kami, aalis sa pila at uupo, o makikipagharot sa mga kaibigan namin, eh di nawala na yung pila..." Maroon pants replied defiantly, "inggit ka lang!" Nge, san ako maiinggit doon??!

One of her friends even had the gall to try to spit on Kris. Buti na lang si Alona lang ang inabutan kasi if that spit reached Kris (or me), ay hindi ko na alam kung saan kami pupulutin. Because of the commotion, the guards approached us asking what the problem was. I said, "dapat ho kasi binabantayan niyo yung pila para walang sumisingit." Ang sagot, "Wag ho kasi kayo magpasingit." Hay, what did he think we were doing?

The girl finally finishes withdrawing (yes, she actually had the gall to stay wrongfully in line all the way to the ATM machine) and suddenly her friends and she speak up (or rather shout in palengkera voices) again. I don't even remember what hilariously lame thing they said (except relly? relly? and unejukated! ) but they said all of it while walking away. How typical to start speaking up pag paalis na sila... But Kris had the final say by doing this ass-slapping dance that had me giggling.

The guard approaches again and apologizes. "Pasensya na kayo sa kanila, ma'am."

Hindi ko alam kung kanino magpapasensya, dun sa sumingit, dun sa friends niya or sa mga taong nakapila who never even bothered to speak up.

Yes, throughout everything, nobody else spoke. Naiinis sila, pero pinabayaan lang nila na siningitan sila. How sad how so many people demand for their rights but are not willing to stand up for those same rights.

***

Like I said above, I'm struggling to control my temper. It's hard, especially when you're being provoked. Nevertheless, I want to come to the point where it will be extremely hard to get me irritated and even when I do get irritated, that I handle the feeling with utmost grace. It's easy to say but difficult to do, but it's something I really have to overcome nevertheless.

God, please help me...

Peer Pressure

2005-08-03T21:33:00.000+08:00

Mica said in her blog that I was one of the people she wants to see take this quiz (quiz nga ba? graded? hehe..) So, I'm going to answer this because of peer pressure (or because I actually like answering these things because it makes me think about who I really am and what I like and don't like)...

Three names you go by:
1. Ro
2. Rowie
3. Ro Manalo

Three screen names you would have had you pursued your love for acting:
1. Ria Joson
2. Ravishing Ro
3. Ramona Cy (said veeeeryyy slowwwllllyyyy)

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. smile
2. shoulders
3. my curves

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. my pores!
2. my tummy that's becoming bigger by the day
3. my chest (they're just heavy!)

Three parts of your heritage:
1. Filipino
2. Spanish
3. Dalawa lang eh...

Three things that scare you:
1. rats
2. heights
3. crowded places

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. wallet
2. cellphone
3. blush

Three of your favorite musical artists:
1. Hillsong United
2. John Legend
3. Mariah Carey

Three of your favorite songs:
1. All for Love (Hillsong United)
2. She's Gone (Hall and Oates)
3. Home (Brian McKnight)

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. God
2. love
3. fidelity

Three lies:
1. I am thin.
2. I hate food.
3. I am relaxed.

Three truths:
1. I love God!
2. I am loyal.
3. I love to eat.

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
1. eyes (they should disappear when the guy smiles)
2. smile (disarming please)
3. strong shoulders

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. reading
2. writing
3. watching tv

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. sleep
2. eat
3. get a massage

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. criminal law
2. theater or film directing
3. theater or film acting

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Boracay again
2. Switzerland
3. Hawaii

Three kids' names you like:
1. Ryan Jacob
2. Reuben
3. Victoria Brianna

Three things you want to do before you die:
1.get married and have kids
2. write a book
3. make disciples

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. I look at other girls (I think this makes me a girl, too)
2. I eat a lot
3. i'm not easily embarrassed

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. I'm a romantic
2. I am kikay
3. I'm moody

Three celeb crushes:
1. Jericho Rosales
2. the gardener in Desparete Housewives
3. the plumber in Desperate Housewives

THREE people I would like to see take this quiz:
1. haze
2. haze
3. haze

Feeling like Bloomwood

2005-08-02T14:45:00.000+08:00

We've all been there.

You know what I mean. The excitement that wells up your body, the feeling that makes you want to giddily scream, the emotion that I can only describe as intense and urgent infatuation...

With a bag... Or a pair of shoes... Or a really nice top... Or a pair of pretty Havaianas... Or a cool jacket... Or an issue of Marie Claire... Or a bottle of sweet-smelling perfume... Or makeup... Or Keeblers Soft Batch cookies... Or (fill in the blank).

And when you actually pick up that thing that is making your heart beat and make your way to the counter, ignoring the voice in your head that's saying "ibaba mo 'yan! hindi mo kailangan! baon ka na sa utang!," and you hear the ding of the cash register as the sales person takes your hard-earned money or your scratched-from-overuse credit card and you walk out of the shop with a nice paper (or plastic) bag in your hand and you go home, head straight to your room and when you're sure you're all alone, you practically rip the bag open, and for a moment pause to look at this beautiful thing that you can't believe is now absolutely yours and smell its fragrance of brand-newness, your body is just overcome with the feeling of calm and satisfaction.

Men won't ever understand what kind of a high we girls get from shopping. Sometimes I think it's a sickness na nga eh, an addiction. I, personally, have a thing for brand new things. I think I inherited it from my mom. My mom's case is even worse. She buys all these things and she actually forgets what she bought. Christmas is always a nightmare because she stashes so many things in my closet, where I keep my gifts too, and we have a hard time figuring out which is mine and which is hers. She buys generic gifts so if she forgets someone, she just needs to take a peek into my closet. Grocery shopping is always fun with mom because, like me, she just gets whatever she feels like getting. Because of this, we both have to lose weight.

Like Becky, I justify my shopping as long-term investment. If you buy nice black shoes, then you won't have to buy another pair for a few years. If you buy a polo shirt in every color, then you'll have your staple workwear for the week. It might not make sense, but that's how I see it.

So even though I know I should stop, I still enjoy every minute of shopping. I still go around Galleria every once in a while to check out the shops and make a mental list of the things I need to purchase come payday. It's bad but I can't stop.

Hmmm, come to think of it, I do need a new pair of decent shoes soon... Maybe next week.

Bless The Broken Road

2005-07-22T17:58:00.000+08:00

Rascal Flatts - Bless The Broken Road Lyrics

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

You never can tell

2005-07-19T14:37:00.000+08:00

I saw Drizzle, the female vocalist of Escape, at Gold's last week. Hindi na kasi ako madalas maggym (and obvious na siya, bad trip). She'd been working out at Gold's for two months na pala. Anyway, I saw her again yesterday. I used to not like this girl because I thought she was too giddy for Adam. She and Adam, the guitarist of Escape and one of my ex's old friends, were together (on and off) for some time but when Ray and I broke up last year, ang alam ko off sila. I saw Adam at Galleria some time last year with this thin girl and I told Drizzle, thinking wala na sila matagal na. Yun pala they'd just really broken up last January. I stammered because I didn't want to cause anyone any trouble. And also because I know how it feels to accidentally be given information you'd rather not have.

The thing there is I had respect for Adam. I thought he was the nicest of Ray's friends and it turns out he's just like the rest of them. You really can't tell these days.

IQ Test

2005-07-19T13:43:00.000+08:00

It's not a real IQ test but I took it anyway. Get more fun stuff at blogthings.com!

Your IQ Is 100

Your Logical Intelligence is Average
Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional
Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional
Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

No Can Do

2005-07-18T11:05:00.000+08:00

I have decided over the weekend to stop liking Mr. Me. Ayoko na talaga. I don't even know why I have a crush on him. Aside from the eyes and the fact that he's funny, there's really nothing there to fall for. He's a bad boy, plain and simple, not even a good-looking one at that. I've seen him around the kind of girls he's always around and I see him with us real girls and I see a difference in the way he acts. Does he think he will eventually marry one of his kind of girls? Does he think he can have stimulating conversation with them until the wee hours of the morning? I can't understand him and I don't think I even want to try. Pareho sila ni Ray, maraming issues... Naghahanap lang ako ng sakit ng ulo.

He's actually a great guy to be friends with. He's fun and all that. But thinking that anything beyond that will work out is, well, far-fetched.

The Eagles Fall

2005-07-11T12:20:00.000+08:00

It has been five long years since I last shouted myself hoarse to support my beloved alma mater and though the experience was less than satisfying in the end (what with the huge win of the Green Archers over my dear Blue Eagles), I found the day to be quite flavorful.

Comedy of Errors
Carol, managing editor of Men's Health, former basketball teammate and all-around friend, managed to score some Upper Box A tickets. If you are an ordinary student from Ateneo, you would know that good tickets to an Ateneo-La Salle game are hard to come by. So, Carol and I with my good friend Sorsi planned to attend the game full-force. Plan was for Carol and Sorsi to meet at Araneta at noon to be able to get good seats. I was coming from Sta. Rosa so I assured them I would leave my house after lunch and would be at Araneta before game time. I had a splendid weekend and was quite excited to cheer for my favorite UAAP team and just be there where the action is. After lunch, I went to my room to find 2 missed calls from Sorsi and a message saying "ano ba... naiinis na ako." Apparently, she had been at the office since 12 noon and was trying to call Carol to ask where exactly they would be meeting. I called Carol myself but she wasn't answering. I figured it could be one of two things: Carol might have gotten into some kind of accident or she left her phone somewhere. Sorsi was worried, too, until I got a message from Carol's friend Irene saying that Carol was in Starbucks waiting for us. I called Sorsi and told her to go ahead to Starbucks and I would text her when I got to Araneta.

I was on my way back to Manila when I got several calls from Sorsi. I was ignoring her calls because I was in a van full of sleeping people. I got this message: "ano ba... nabibwisit na ako..." She still couldn't find Carol. Another message came in: "nandito ako sa starbucks. puro la sallista dito... i'm wearing blue pigtails pa naman..." When I got there, a full hour after Sorsi got to Starbucks, she was in a foul mood. I finally got a hold of Carol and there she was behind the divider that separated the Araneta patrons buying coffee from the ordinary Starbucks customers with a semi-scowl on her face saying "konti na lang talaga... naiinis na ako..." Buti na lang I was in a better mood and I managed a smile and an explanation.

So here I was, tired from the long trip and petrified that my two friends would not talk to each other the whole time. What a way to start the game... I was seated between Carol and Sorsi and Carol, in a much better mood, said "Natuloy ba si Sorsi sa Neil Gaiman?" Me: "Natuloy ka daw ba sa Neil Gaiman?" Sorsi: "Oo, natuloy ako sa Neil Gaiman." Me: "Natuloy daw siya sa Neil Gaiman." Was I going to be a messenger the whole night?

Finally, Sorsi looked at the players on the court all clad in different shades of blue and she realized it was still Adamson and NU playing. "Hindi pa pala Ateneo - La Salle 'to eh...," she half-shouted. That got us all laughing and ended the bitter atmosphere.

Atenista ba 'tong mga 'to?
Before the game began, there was an elaborate AVP about how Ateneo and La Salle were different yet the same (ano daw??!) because Ateneo and La Salle are excellent because they both have FOCUS. Yun pala advertisement lang ng Ford Focus. Talk about commercialized...

The whole stadium started chanting "Basketball! Basketball!" but were silenced by the appearance of a flying Ford Focus. In fairness, nakakaaliw siya. But I was still eager for the game to begin...

Finally, out came the Ateneo Blue Eagles (na ang kilala ko na lang si LA Tenorio, Magnum Membrere, Badjie del Rosario, and the cute but useless Doug Kramer) and a sea of blue stood up to start cheering. If you're a die-hard UAAP fan, you would know that a UAAP game is better watched standing up. Midway into the 1st quarter, the 40-ish lady seated behind Carol tapped her shoulder and said in a trying-to-be-nice-but-still-condescending tone "I'd like to watch the game, too, if you don't mind..." Bad trip, hindi siguro Atenista yon, nakapag-asawa lang ng Atenista... I appreciate the presence of the alumni, lalo na yung mga die-hard. Pero pag-KJ, hello, manood ka na lang ng TV, diba?? There are so many students who would kill for those seats and yet ang mga nakakakuha mga taong wala man lang kagana-ganang mag-cheer. Halfway into the third quarter, I heard some of the older guys say "pare, umuwi na tayo... talo na..." Sorsi promptly screamed "walang uuwi! di ba win or lose, it's the school we choose?!!" Nakakainis lang kasi yun nga, yung students na gustong pumunta, hindi makapunta because these people na Ateneo lang pag panalo ang team, mas may connections.

All Heart
Final score was 78 La Salle - 60 Ateneo. But that was not what was disappointing for me. I have to give it to La Salle because it looked that they really wanted to win the game. They challenged every shot, they shot like this was the last game they were ever going to play. Kahit na mayabang yung ibang players, they had reason to be smug. Ateneo played like it was a practice game. The only players who looked like they had some fire left in them were Magnum Membrere and Japeth Aguilar and sige na nga, LA Tenorio. They fought even when it looked like they were going to lose. I don't mind losing because hey, it happens... But if you give up even before the final buzzer, there must be something wrong with your attitude. In fairness to them, the team is made up of fairly young players, so maybe the NR Coach Norman Black can still inject some fire into his players. I sure hope he does...

Falling for Mr. Me

2005-07-04T19:20:00.000+08:00

I find myself in yet another situation--one that I seem to always fall into. Yes, there is someone who has caught my eye, and maybe even possibly my heart. Yikes. The funny thing is that even if he has the trademark disappearing eyes I seem to always go for and the non-negotiable sense of humor and intelligence that are tops on my husband hopeful list, he wouldn't strike you as mate material, at least not MY mate material. The scary thing there is that the more I think about it, the more that I see that I am falling for Mr. Me. This might sound ideal for most people but is it the formula that really works?

Like me, the man in question is a Scorpio. And according to the stars, we both have strong personalities. He's boisterously funny. I'm not saying I'm THAT funny but I know I have my moments. He has a fiery temper as do I. He's quiet sometimes and that makes him mysterious. I don't know if I'm mysterious at all but I know that there are times when I just don't feel like talking. He is careful about who he hangs out with as am I. He's the leader type as I've been almost all my life.

Haaayy... Why do I like him? It scares me that I like him the way I do and I'm trying to just really take control of my emotions. It's just that there are times when I happen to be beside him and my shoulder sort of rests against his, or my knee touches his when we're seated next to each other, that I feel something really weird-- parang I can depend on him, parang there's nothing I should worry about.

Sorry for the mush. I'm just really wondering where this is going or if I want it to go anywhere at all. What I do know is that I like that I feel this way about him. I don't know if this is right or I'm just putting myself on the line for something that's not going to work anyhow because he's like me in so many ways that I think if we do get together it'll be one explosive relationship. I don't even know if there's a possibility he likes me back.

I guess I just have to wait and see.