Written in the Stars?

Cassiopeia: one of only three female figures in the northern skies. This constellation is one of the circumpolar constellations visible at about 40° north latitude. Its legends often reflect the fact that the constellation never sets below the horizon.
Greece: she was the vain and beautiful Queen of Philistia, sometimes referred to as Ethiopia. Claiming to have beauty that rivaled the Nereids, her punishment was the sacrifice of her daughter, Andromeda, to the sea monster Cetus. After her daughter was saved and promised to Perseus as his wife, Cassiopeia plotted with her daughter's fiancée Agenor, to kill Perseus. While outnumbered and attacked at his wedding feast, Perseus pulled Medusa's head from his bag and transformed Cassiopeia, Agenor and his men to stone. The Queen and King Cepheus are depicted in the sky facing each other's feet. They cannot speak to each other. Because the Queen insulted the sea nymphs, the pair never set below the surface of the sea. The constellation's name is derived from a Phoenician phrase that means the Rose-Colored Face. (info from ufrsd.net)

***

I watched Seredipity for the nth time last night. I was feeling particularly sentimental because a good friend of mine had just broken up with her significant other for reasons similar to the cause of my own breakup with my own former SO. I won't go into details but what had happened to me and to my friend H made me think: Is there really someone out there for me? Do I still believe in destiny?

The answer came easily. Yes, I do believe. There is, after all, a supreme power that is greater than any of us, bigger than our own plans and dreams. The twist is that this supreme power is not someone who is merely a being that looks on from afar. He is love and we are the manifestation of His love.

Imagine this--you meet someone who takes your breath away. He falls for you and you fall for Him, too. He tells you that you are his life and you believe it, so you give your all to this person, knowing that whatever happens, he will be there. He already declared his undying devotion to you and you know in your heart that he will never leave. Then comes another girl, someone who starts out as an amusement. He ignores the warning signs, he ignores the guilt he feels. Inch by inch, he walks toward the line of danger, the point of no return. He believes so much that he loves you and that he couldn't possibly love anyone else. He's just having some fun, some friendship. But while he tiptoes near the line of danger, he trips and crosses to the other side. Now he knows what it feels and it gives him exhilaration. After all, for quite some time, he has known but one kind of love, the one he had with you. But when he stepped out of the fence, the boundary that protected him, he feels free. He looks at you from the other side and still feels some longing for you. But the newness of this sensation is just so tempting. You are left inside and you know that however far he goes, your love will never change. When he is ready, when he is willing, he can come back and you will open your arms to receive him.

Some love story, huh? Yes, it is. Because that's how God loves us-- unconditionally. No matter what we do or where we go, He is there, waiting for us to realize that no matter where on earth we look for love, for acceptance, for identity, for purpose, there is only one who can satisfy. Yes, the one we left behind, the one waiting with open arms for us.

***

I believe in destiny because God promises us that. I believe there is someone out there for me, someone He wants me to be with and even if I stay inside an isolated tower, He will find a way to bring us together because that's the kind of God He is to the people who love Him with all their hearts, to them who choose Him first.

***

Going back to the movie...

If we believe in destiny, then we should also know that our fate is not in our hands. It's not in anyone else's hands, for that matter. Our whole life is in God's hands alone, if only we let Him take over. A dear friend once told me that God breaks hearts so He has space to come in, and I believe that.

I won't try to justify cheating because there is no excuse for that. You make a decision, you stick with it. If you make a mistake, be ready for the consequences. But I also think that there are things that are not meant to be as there ARE those that, no matter how far they run, no matter how much time has passed, are really meant to be.

Mind your Peace and Queues

I have a thing about lines.

I have always believed that to maintain a certain order, people have to wait their turn. I always make sure that whenever I'm in a place with a lot of people waiting--be it a taxi terminal, a government office, a restaurant--that I am lining up properly. Sometimes I go as far as remembering who arrived before me (in the case that there are no lines, no numbers given out or no reservation list) just to be fair to other people. I guess that is why I expect the same kind of consideration from other people.

Many times, though, I am reminded that not everyone is willing to extend this same courtesy.

Last Monday, August 15, Kris and I headed to Equitable PCI Bank in Galleria. It was payday so we expected a long line. True enough, when we got there, around 25 people were already in queue. We fell in line with all the others and engaged in conversation. We were a bit bothered by this twenty-something woman wearing maroon pants, because she was running all over the place, noisily chatting with her friends and seemingly flirting with a guy she and her friends ran into. The whole scene was distracting but we continued our conversation.

Half an hour later, Kris and I were nearing the ATM machine and this girl suddenly announces to her friends that she has to get back in line. The thing is I never remembered her being in line, in the first place. I assumed that if she had left the line that she asked one of her friends to take her place or, at the very least, let the person behind her know that she was leaving for a moment and would be coming back.

Naiinis na ako, kasi nga I have a thing about lines. I told Kris that the girl better not be cutting the line. I was especially agitated having been in line for half an hour. Maroon pants created her own second line (you know how when traffic is bad, drivers don't follow the lines painted on the road and instead make their own lines and end up cutting people who actually stayed on the right lane? Ganon ang ginawa niya.) and slithered her way into our line. I saw that Kris was also getting irritated. I also saw the girl two spaces before us giving maroon pants a dirty stare and the guy in front of us doing the same. Maroon pants oh-so-casually inched her way between the girl and the guy but did they even mutter a word? No.

So, I tapped the guy on the shoulder (who ignored me the first time, by the way) and said, "nagpaalam ba 'yan sa iyo na aalis siya sa pila at babalik ulit?" Hindi daw. So I tapped him again, "paki tanong nga dun sa nasa harap niya kung nagsabi siya?" This time, hindi talaga ako pinansin. So, I asked maroon pants herself, "Excuse me, nakapila ka ba? Nagsabi ka bang aalis ka sa pila at babalik ka?" She haughtily answered something like "oo, baket?" I go, "hindi ka nagsabi," tapping the guy again, urging him to speak up and he sort of shook his head and muttered something. So, I said "para ka naman walang pinag-aralan eh..." Surprisingly, she fought back with "ikaw ang walang pinagaralan. nakikialam ka pa!"

I didn't have to say anything anymore because Kris came to the rescue with a load of expletives. Now, I'm forever trying to deal with my temper pero pag talaga nasa ganitong sitwasyon ka, it's so hard to control. The funny thing is despite being extremely irritated, I found the whole thing hilarious.

Pano naman the girl started echoing everything Kris said:

Kris: You F***** B****! W****!
Maroon Pants: You F***** B**** W**** ka rin!
Kris (in wonderfully perfect American accent): Do you even know what that means?
Maroon Pants: Yes (sabay talikod)

I try to be the voice of reason,"alam mo, miss, sa amin lang naman, pumila ka ng maayos. kung lahat kami, aalis sa pila at uupo, o makikipagharot sa mga kaibigan namin, eh di nawala na yung pila..." Maroon pants replied defiantly, "inggit ka lang!" Nge, san ako maiinggit doon??!

One of her friends even had the gall to try to spit on Kris. Buti na lang si Alona lang ang inabutan kasi if that spit reached Kris (or me), ay hindi ko na alam kung saan kami pupulutin. Because of the commotion, the guards approached us asking what the problem was. I said, "dapat ho kasi binabantayan niyo yung pila para walang sumisingit." Ang sagot, "Wag ho kasi kayo magpasingit." Hay, what did he think we were doing?

The girl finally finishes withdrawing (yes, she actually had the gall to stay wrongfully in line all the way to the ATM machine) and suddenly her friends and she speak up (or rather shout in palengkera voices) again. I don't even remember what hilariously lame thing they said (except relly? relly? and unejukated! ) but they said all of it while walking away. How typical to start speaking up pag paalis na sila... But Kris had the final say by doing this ass-slapping dance that had me giggling.

The guard approaches again and apologizes. "Pasensya na kayo sa kanila, ma'am."

Hindi ko alam kung kanino magpapasensya, dun sa sumingit, dun sa friends niya or sa mga taong nakapila who never even bothered to speak up.

Yes, throughout everything, nobody else spoke. Naiinis sila, pero pinabayaan lang nila na siningitan sila. How sad how so many people demand for their rights but are not willing to stand up for those same rights.

***

Like I said above, I'm struggling to control my temper. It's hard, especially when you're being provoked. Nevertheless, I want to come to the point where it will be extremely hard to get me irritated and even when I do get irritated, that I handle the feeling with utmost grace. It's easy to say but difficult to do, but it's something I really have to overcome nevertheless.

God, please help me...

Peer Pressure

Mica said in her blog that I was one of the people she wants to see take this quiz (quiz nga ba? graded? hehe..) So, I'm going to answer this because of peer pressure (or because I actually like answering these things because it makes me think about who I really am and what I like and don't like)...

Three names you go by:
1. Ro
2. Rowie
3. Ro Manalo

Three screen names you would have had you pursued your love for acting:
1. Ria Joson
2. Ravishing Ro
3. Ramona Cy (said veeeeryyy slowwwllllyyyy)

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. smile
2. shoulders
3. my curves

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. my pores!
2. my tummy that's becoming bigger by the day
3. my chest (they're just heavy!)

Three parts of your heritage:
1. Filipino
2. Spanish
3. Dalawa lang eh...

Three things that scare you:
1. rats
2. heights
3. crowded places

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. wallet
2. cellphone
3. blush

Three of your favorite musical artists:
1. Hillsong United
2. John Legend
3. Mariah Carey

Three of your favorite songs:
1. All for Love (Hillsong United)
2. She's Gone (Hall and Oates)
3. Home (Brian McKnight)

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. God
2. love
3. fidelity

Three lies:
1. I am thin.
2. I hate food.
3. I am relaxed.

Three truths:
1. I love God!
2. I am loyal.
3. I love to eat.


Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
1. eyes (they should disappear when the guy smiles)
2. smile (disarming please)
3. strong shoulders

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. reading
2. writing
3. watching tv

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. sleep
2. eat
3. get a massage

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. criminal law
2. theater or film directing
3. theater or film acting

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Boracay again
2. Switzerland
3. Hawaii

Three kids' names you like:
1. Ryan Jacob
2. Reuben
3. Victoria Brianna

Three things you want to do before you die:
1.get married and have kids
2. write a book
3. make disciples

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. I look at other girls (I think this makes me a girl, too)
2. I eat a lot
3. i'm not easily embarrassed

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. I'm a romantic
2. I am kikay
3. I'm moody

Three celeb crushes:
1. Jericho Rosales
2. the gardener in Desparete Housewives
3. the plumber in Desperate Housewives

THREE people I would like to see take this quiz:
1. haze
2. haze
3. haze

Feeling like Bloomwood

We've all been there.

You know what I mean. The excitement that wells up your body, the feeling that makes you want to giddily scream, the emotion that I can only describe as intense and urgent infatuation...

With a bag... Or a pair of shoes... Or a really nice top... Or a pair of pretty Havaianas... Or a cool jacket... Or an issue of Marie Claire... Or a bottle of sweet-smelling perfume... Or makeup... Or Keeblers Soft Batch cookies... Or (fill in the blank).

And when you actually pick up that thing that is making your heart beat and make your way to the counter, ignoring the voice in your head that's saying "ibaba mo 'yan! hindi mo kailangan! baon ka na sa utang!," and you hear the ding of the cash register as the sales person takes your hard-earned money or your scratched-from-overuse credit card and you walk out of the shop with a nice paper (or plastic) bag in your hand and you go home, head straight to your room and when you're sure you're all alone, you practically rip the bag open, and for a moment pause to look at this beautiful thing that you can't believe is now absolutely yours and smell its fragrance of brand-newness, your body is just overcome with the feeling of calm and satisfaction.

Men won't ever understand what kind of a high we girls get from shopping. Sometimes I think it's a sickness na nga eh, an addiction. I, personally, have a thing for brand new things. I think I inherited it from my mom. My mom's case is even worse. She buys all these things and she actually forgets what she bought. Christmas is always a nightmare because she stashes so many things in my closet, where I keep my gifts too, and we have a hard time figuring out which is mine and which is hers. She buys generic gifts so if she forgets someone, she just needs to take a peek into my closet. Grocery shopping is always fun with mom because, like me, she just gets whatever she feels like getting. Because of this, we both have to lose weight.

Like Becky, I justify my shopping as long-term investment. If you buy nice black shoes, then you won't have to buy another pair for a few years. If you buy a polo shirt in every color, then you'll have your staple workwear for the week. It might not make sense, but that's how I see it.

So even though I know I should stop, I still enjoy every minute of shopping. I still go around Galleria every once in a while to check out the shops and make a mental list of the things I need to purchase come payday. It's bad but I can't stop.

Hmmm, come to think of it, I do need a new pair of decent shoes soon... Maybe next week.