Wedding Photos

First-time Bridesmaid


Too bad it rained...


The Bridesmaids and the Bride (in the middle)

Sev is getting married next week.

And for the first time in my life, I agreed to be a bridesmaid. I usually don't like going to weddings -- not because I don't like weddings because I absolutely love them but I guess no one super close to me has gotten married before. Except Judy, and I do feel bad I wasn't able to go to her wedding but my cousins from Switzerland were leaving that same day and my lola was going to be left alone in the house and since my grandfather just died last December, we wanted to be around her as much as possible.

Anyway, finally, I'm going to be a bridesmaid. I'm a bit nervous about it. I'm wearing a mustard-colored dress (which cost a whopping P3,500!) and Kris, my best friend and co-bridesmaid, and I went to our final fitting yesterday at Katipunan. Kris and I liked the dress after a while because initially we were expecting a different color. The samples shown to us by Sev were predominantly brown (a color which we happen to like), then it turns out it was a gold number instead. But when we tried them on, they turned out to look good naman. Still not good enough for the price, but well, it's not like we can back out. The thing is Sev had brown stuff added to the dress because that's really part of her motiff. She talked about a shawl for me (to hide my "baby" fat, haha!) and a bolero for Kris. Nabaliktad nila! Mine wasn't made yet but it was a bolero for me and for Kris it was a weird shawl. Alam mo yung mga nakakabit sa dress na tela na iniikot sa neck, parang scarf. The funny thing is that I was in a really foul mood yesterday but when I saw the scowl on Kris's face, grabe, naging good mood ako! The mustard and the brown totally clashed and she had already bought her million dollar shoes too! To top it all off, we were super hungry and were made to wait for half an hour before they unearthed our dress. Kris had the brown thing removed and it's going to be made into a bolero. And mine is still (hopefully they don't get it wrong) going to be a bolero or a shawl (just not a scarf please!). Buti na lang, after that, both our moods improved because we were able to eat at this place called Bubble Gang Toppings. I ordered the pork tapa toppings while Kris ate the uber-yummy tuyo toppings. Hers was so good I intend to go back on Friday to eat my own tuyo toppings.

***

Pastor Julius invited me to the talents inC general meeting yesterday. I am now officially involved with talents inC (spelled that was because it means talents in Christ) and it's pretty exciting what they've planned for this year. I am already looking forward to again working with people from the entertainment industry more closely. They look like a fun bunch and it's really comforting to be with people who are happy and excited about life, it's uplifting.

***

I am starting to get over former OoA (Object of Affection), which is good news. I just realized how selfish I was not being happy for his gain, dwelling instead on my loss. But I do believe there is someone out there just for me and he's going to be worth the wait.

***

I went home to BF last night. I'm happy to be gaining another new sister in the person of my cousin Denise. She's my only cousin from the Manalo side who's here in Manila and I'm glad to be able to spend time with her (and Mama of course). I'm sure Papa is really happy about us cousins starting to become really close.

Getting Back the Rhythm

How appropriate that they call one of my favorite music genres R&B. Rhythm and Blues. If my life were a soundtrack, you would be hearing heart-thumping, heart-breaking, soulful melodies right now. I think I'm having the blues. You know how I know? I keep on sleeping and I don't really feel like getting up, even if I've exceeded the needed 8 hours of rest. I know I'll get out of this one of these days and get my rhythm back. So that's what I'm trying to do now -- getting the blues out and getting back the rhythm. Easier said than done. But since I resolve to stay true to my blog's tagline above, I will do my very best to choose to be happy. No matter what.

I really am having a hard time understanding and uh-huh, accepting the turn of events but well, even if I don't understand, I know that I should praise God still. I know he closed this door on me for a good reason. He was my main distraction and I did pray (before I found out) for God to take the feelings away if He was not the man He intends for me to marry. One hour after I was forced to do just that -- forget my feelings for him and just move on. One of my friends said maybe his purpose in my life is already finished -- to help me forget my former significant other. Mission accomplished on that one. Now I need to get over him -- the guy who helped me get over my ex.

This is getting to be depressing so I'm copying this from my ex's sister's blog just because it's 3am and I don't feel like sleeping yet.

FAVORITES, FAVORITES and More FAVORITES..

• Coffee.. Toffee Nut Latte and Coffee Jelly from Starbucks
• Color.. Right now, I'm loving white, blue, purple and black
  
• Chocolate.. Nestle Crunch, Cadbury Dairy Milk, Kisses, Any kind actually except those with coconut, orange, peppermint and dark chocolate
  
• Lutong bahay.. Adobo, Sinigang (na super asim), Pritong Isda
  
• Others under the "Food" category.. Oysters, cheese, KFC, Baked Ziti with white sauce and white pizza from Sbarro, Stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut, Yellow Cab Shrimp and garlic pizza, Gerry's sisig, Congo Grill's Nilasing na Hipon, UP Isaw, Manang's Inihaw and Pork Chop
  
• Music.. Praise and Worship songs, Pop R&B
  
• Sports.. Basketball
• Movie.. My Best friend's Wedding, Serendipity, Just Like Heaven, Pretty Woman, A Lot Like Love,
  
• Song.. Right now, Knees to the Earth by Watermark and Keep on Hoping by Raul Midon and Jason Mraz
• Flowers.. Long-stemmed roses
  
• Perfume.. Still by JLo, Miami Glow by JLo, Love in Paris
  
• Expression.. Fudge

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'VE GOT THE BLUES?

• Pray / Talk to God
• Listen to Senti Songs
  
• Read
• Sleep
  
• Watch TV
  

WHAT DO YOU PREFER?

• Music or Sports? MUSIC
• The Beach or The Mountains? The BEACH.
• Rainy days or Sunny days? SUNNY DAYS.
• Victoria's Secret or Bath and Body Works? BATH AND BODY WORKS.
• Movie or Book? BOOK
• Fruits or Vegetables? FRUITS
• Read or Write? READ
• Leader or Follower? LEADER
• Listen or Speak? LISTEN (but I always end up speaking too)
  
• Slippers or Rubber shoes? RUBBER SHOES (but I know I'm more often in flipflops)
  
• Milk Chocolate, dark chocolate or White chocolate? MILK CHOCOLATE
  
• TV or radio? TV

SShh.. NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW THESE THINGS ABOUT ME..

• I'm scared of heights. I have this recurring dream that I'm on an elevator that's out of control, going up and down really fast. Some nights the elevator is even made of glass so I can see how high the drop's going to be.
  
• There are days when I'm really really shy. I sometimes get really nervous calling someone I haven't met before.
• I used to sing well. I just don't know what happened. Hindi ito joke.
  
• I used to have crooked teeth. I also used to be so conscious because of it that I refused to show my teeth in pictures, which explains why in my grade school grad pic, I had a weird smirk on my face. (pinipilit kasi nila ako to smile more but I refused to open my mouth)
• I have a secret dream to be OC.

By the way, my iPod won't work. Nahawa ata sa iPod ni Mica . But my case is worse. My brother and I were listening to it last night. Battery was half full as I just charged it middle of the week and I haven't been using it as regularly as I used to so I know something was up when suddenly the iPod flashed that I needed to connect the iPod to a power source. When I charged it, nothing came out on the screen. Tried to turn it on, nothing happened. It's only four months old so that iPod better come back to life...

Memorable Movie Quotes

Julianna Potter (played by Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding): Michael... I love you. I've loved you for nine years, I've just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and... well, now I'm just scared. So, I realize this comes at a very inopportune time but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn't it?

Michael O'Neill (played by Dermot Mulroney): Kimmy says if you love someone you say it, you say it right then, out loud. Otherwise the moment just...
Julianne Potter: Passes you by...
Michael O'Neill: Passes you by...

Dean (played by Jeremy Piven in Serendipity): Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Johnathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him," Kansky noted. Ultimately Johnathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny.

Wonderings of love lost

To you:

I wonder if when you look at me, you can see my sadness. I wonder if when you see me smile, you know that I'm trying to be brave. I wonder if you know that everytime you're there, my tears threaten to stream down my face. I wonder if you can sense the longing I feel.

To be in her shoes... To be the one to make you smile, to be the one to make you laugh, to be the one to cook dinner for you, to be the one to fix your clothes every morning, to be the one you chat with about your day, to be the one you can experience things with.

Sometimes I wonder if there was something I did not do. Had I been too aloof? Had I been too evasive? If that time you made a step toward me, I had taken a step too, would things have been different? I know that I cannot change the things of the past but sometimes I wonder. I know that God's always prevails so I know I have no business to think otherwise, to think this is all a mistake. I guess the point I'm trying to make is deep in my heart, I am happy for you. I am happy that you have found the one for you.

I guess I'm sad not just because I long so much to be in her shoes, but a part of me wants to have a part what you two have. I want to have the history you have, how she first caught your eye, how you made a move to pursue her, when it was that you knew she's the woman God had intended for you to spend your life with. I want all that. Several people have already told me that God has better in store for me but right now, I can't imagine who that could be. I wonder how anyone can ever top you? On the other hand, I do believe that God has made for each one a perfect mate. And she's the one for you. And somewhere out there, there's someone also for me. I guess I just dreamt too much that it would be you and me in the end. I was sure that it was just a matter of time before it happened. But it is not so now.

Now, I need to let go of you, of the dreams that I have. I don't know how but by God's grace, I know it will happen. Enveloped in darkness and uncertainty, that is how I feel now. But I know that at the crack of dawn, the sun will come out, gradually creeping in to usher in a new day. I hope and I pray that that will be tomorrow.

Ouch!

Newsflash: Object of affection is now officially in a relationship.

Someone said so last night. I was in shock and my hands became ice cold. Not really that gone to be heartbroken but I must admit there's an ouch factor.

The funny thing is I was praying yesterday, an hour before I found out about it, for God to take away what I'm feeling for this person because it's causing me to be distracted, to lose 100% focus on God. And boom, I found out. Prayer answered quite swiftly.

I'm happy for him because I know he's waited a long time and he looks happy. The girl, I'm sure, is a godly woman so they're both blessed to have each other.

It's just a shock.

Time to move on...

Must Guard Heart

One of my New Year's Resolutions: MUST GUARD HEART

Love-wise, 2005 was not such a bad year. No relationships, because all of you know naman that I'm waiting for THE ONE so I'm not dating or entertaining but also no bad cases of infatuation. (Just an almost bad case because I was able to let go of the "crush" agad) I think this is primarily because my object of affection (the one I've had since May 2004) was out of sight.

The thing is he's back. I'm trying to not give him any notice but ewan ko ba, I really like this guy. I don't want to because I also have my misgivings about him but I guess what I'd like is the opportunity to get to know this guy better and for him to do the same.

But I know I have to stop pining over him because I'm putting my heart on the line again.

He waved hello to me yesterday and I was so excited I couldn't see straight! Napaka-high school!

Haaaay, sana naman this year, I can act normal around him and not be so conscious...

Mons, repeat after me: Must Guard Heart!